


In the Company of Fate

by snapdragonpop007



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura and Lance are Siblings, Altean Lance (Voltron), Extremely Dubious Consent, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lance is a beautiful prince who can totally kick your ass, Lance is also the founder of The Blade of Marmora, Lance is the original blue paladin, Multi, Pre-Canon, Shiro's in the gladiator ring, but not for too long, nothing actually happens on screen i promise, sex is a thing that happens, so rating goes up, then canon, there will be other ships I just havent chosen them yet, these boys are stupidly in love and someone needs to give them a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 22:13:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 35,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11632992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapdragonpop007/pseuds/snapdragonpop007
Summary: Lance--the crowned prince of Altea--had given up his right to the throne long ago when the Blue lion chose him as her paladin, but he still held on to everything and everyone he held dear, then just as quickly losing everything when the war began.Now, 10,000 years later he is still in Galra care, still with Lotor, still maintaining a weak link with Blue, still fighting for what he had always been fighting for, still struggling to keep himself alive.When a competitor is brought into the gladiator ring from the new ship of prisoners , Lance finds himself drawn to him for his Altean-like looks, his strength and seemingly unbreakable will, and something else that he had only dared to hope to find again.





	1. Enter the Gladiator

Lance had heard about the new prisoners long before Lotor told him in hushed tones, hands wandering across his chest, his neck, his lips. News traveled fast on this ship, and even if it didn’t the Blade always made sure Lance was the first to hear any news. Still, Lance had acted surprised, asking far too many questions that Lotor was all too happy to answer. 

“Are any of them going to the ring?” 

“A few.” The Galran princes hand fell to Lance's hips, thumbs dipping below the silks. “Would you like to see?” 

He didn't, but Lance nodded anyway. A kiss landed on his lips, his neck, his cheek. Lance turned away when Lotor came back to his lips, tangling his fingers in Lotor’s hair. 

“Later.” He huffed it out, fingers digging into Lotor's scalp. 

“Of course, darling.” His lips drug across Lance's cheek. Then Lotor pulled away, pulling Lance to his side and leading him out of their room. No one dared look at them as they walked down the halls--Lotor hated the soldiers looking at Lance--the soft tinkling of the bells around Lance’s ankles blending with the harsh Galran dialects. Lance missed hearing his own language, his missed hearing other languages, he missed speaking them. Lotor was-- _disappointed_ \--when he spoke Altean, and eventually Lance just stopped. 

He didn't remember how to speak his native tongue anymore. 

“Here.” Hands left his hips as Lance was deposited outside of the metal cell doors. “I think you’ll really like one of them. He’s quite handsome.”

Lance looked back. Lotor was smiling, and he waved him forward. The guard stationed outside opened the door, not looking at Lance as he softly padded in. The room was hardly lit, and when Lance walked a little further in a light flared somewhere overhead. He winced at the harshness off it, but it didn't take long for his eyes to adjust. There wasn't as many prisoners as last time, yet Lance still felt a sharp stab of guilt as he glanced at each of them in turn.

It had been his duty to protect them, to protect everyone, and he had failed. 

His eyes lingered on a man who looked a bit Altean in nature. His heart soared in hope, but when he looked up with narrowed eyes and bleeding lips his heart took a free fall. He had no Altean markings, didn't have the right facial structure--Alteans could change their looks, but the angular bone structure never went away. His matted hair fell across his face--black, Lance noticed-- as he looked back down, and Lance could see the dried blood in his hair and on the back of his skull where his hair had been cut off.

“Beautiful, isn't he?” Lotor had come up to Lance’s side. “He could do with some cleaning up though.”

“Why did you put him in the ring?” 

He twitched at the words, and Lance wondered if he could understand the language they were speaking. 

“He looks a bit Altean.” An arm wound its way around Lances waist. “I wanted to see if he was as strong as one.”

Lance kept his eyes on the man, wanting him to look up again. 

“He’s already been through the ring?”

Lotor nodded. “He defeated the previous champion on his first round through.”

Lance blinked, shocked. “He did?”

The man looked up. His eyes narrowed and his lips pulled into a scowl. Lance wanted so badly to reach out, clean his cuts and scrapes and keep him in his arms. 

“It was quite impressive.” Lance was tugged sharply back to the Galra's side, Lotor's fingers digging into his hip. “He’s going to be sent back out today.”

“He can't--”

“Would you like to watch?” Lotor spoke over Lance, his eyes narrowed as he stared down the prisoner. “You do so love the gladiator fights.”

Lance hated them. 

“If that's alright with you.” Lance dropped his voice, looking down at the ground.

“I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't.” Lotor gave him a pleasant smile, his grip relaxing. He lovingly ran his hand up and down Lance’s side, and the Altean prince closed his eyes, taking a quick shallow breath.

He hated when Lotor was kind to him, when he was gentle and sweet. It was like nothing had ever happened, like Lance hadn't watched his planet--his family die, like he and Lotor were still stupid and young and in love and running around Altea and ignoring their duties. It was like nothing had changed, and every time it gave Lance hope that he would go back to who he used to be and every time that hope was crushed. 

“I would love to go.” Lance opened his eyes.

“Wonderful.” Lotor steered him out of the cell. Lance winced as the door closed with a defining ring, but Lotor only ran a hand up his side. 

They went back to their room. Lotor deposited Lance on the bed, letting his hands wander a bit too much for Lance’s liking before leaving again with promises of fetching him before the gladiator fights started. Lance gave him a strained smile, and when the door closed he dropped it and got off the bed, falling to the floor with his back against a wall. 

It had been so long since he had seen someone so--so _Altean_. 

Lance had Haggar and Lotor, but their Galran genes showed through so much more. To see that pale skin again, the dark hair, those brown eyes that looked so much like the rich earth of Altea--it had been a shock. And to have to see this man go through the ring again, to have to _enjoy_ watching it--

Lance hated himself for that. 

He took a deep breath, turning his face towards the ceiling. 

He couldn’t get attached. Nothing ended well when he got attached. 

When Lotor came back Lance was back on the bed. His knees were drawn to his chest, arms crossed over them, his head resting in the crook of his arms. He let a smile spread across his lips, lifting his head as Lotor took up a slow walk to the bed. 

“Ready, darling?”

Lance took his hand, unfolding himself as Lotor pulled him off the bed. 

They went to the top box, taking their time as they settled in. They brought the man out first, and Lance felt his breath get stolen as the crowd rose to their feet and thundered a cheer. He looked even worse than before. 

He was limping as he was shoved into the dusty arena, and he stumbled before he could right himself. There was so much more blood than before, and Lance couldn’t curb the stab of panic in his heart quick enough. He couldn’t worry anymore, however, because his competitor was brought out and the fight was started before any of them were really ready. 

And it was brutal. 

They were both fighting for their lives, but the man was so painfully outmatched. He hadn’t been given time to heal, and Lance watched as he stumbled around, always on the defense as his moves quickly slowed. His arms were shaking, his chest heaving with an effort to get air in his lungs, his legs giving out just enough to have him always diving out of the way and Lance didn’t--he didn’t want to see this man die. He found himself mouthing an old prayer, one that had always been said to him and the other paladins, one for a champion going off to battle. 

“You seem to like him.”

Lance jumped when Lotor spoke. 

“I--” Lance couldn’t find any words. He did like him, and he couldn’t explain why. 

“It’s alright,” Lotor glanced at him. “I don't mind.” 

Lance swallowed and nodded. When Lotor looked away Lance turned back to the ring. 

He lost sight of him, and Lance was desperately looking for him as the crowd rose in a cheer, their rhythmic stomping sounding like thunder. Lance couldn’t hear anything over the noise, and it only grew as the man stumbled out from behind a pillar, his sword spattered with blood. His chest was heaving with shuddering breaths, his limbs were shaking and he lost his grip on the sword. It clattered to the ground and his knees buckled, and Lance shot up out of his seat as he collapsed. 

“He’ll be fine.” 

Lotor reached out for him, but Lance dodged his hand as he threw his body to the balcony. 

The Druids were already taking the man off the field, and as soon as Lance lost sight he pushed his way past Lotor and out of the arena. He caught a glimpse of the man struggling as the Druids carried him away, and then he lost him in the crowd. 

A hand wrapped around his arm, pulling him back before he could try and find him. 

“I don’t like you running off on me, Lance.” 

“I was just--” Lance tried to tug himself out of Lotor’s grip. 

“You don’t need to worry about him.” Lotor pulled Lance back harshly. Lance hissed as his arm was pulled at an odd angle, and he found himself having to maneuver into Lotor’s side to keep his arm from breaking. “Let’s go back to the room.”

Lotor did mind, and Lance cursed himself for letting himself think that Lotor would be wiling to share him.

Lance wanted to scream at him, but he let himself be brought back to the room. He let Lotor kiss him and manhandle him, but before it could go much further Lotor was called away, leaving Lance panting and shaking on the bed. 

He took a moment to get his breath back, and when he was breathing normally again he readjusted the silks around his waist before getting back up. He could feel Blue faintly nudge the back of his mind, and Lance gave her the most comforting thoughts he could muster before leaving the room. He went to the med bay first, but if the man had even been there he was long gone by now. He managed to get a location out of one of the Druids still in the bay and then he was taking off to the solitary cell that he had been put in. 

Lance made it to the cell easily enough, but this seemed to be the one place he couldn’t get into. 

He _needed_ to get in there

“Lance?” 

Thace was passing by, presumably on his rounds, and Lance pulled the general to the side. He winced at how tight Lance’s grip was, but Lance paid it no mind.

“Can you get me in there?” 

“...What?” 

“Can you get me in there?” Lance punctuated each word, tugging Thace closer to him as a few soldiers passed. 

“Lance, you can’t just throw away everything we’ve done--”

“Thace, I need to get in there.” 

Lance wasn’t going to back down. He stared Thace down, unblinking, tightening his grip ever so slowly as Thace stared back. The silence was so thick that Lance could have cut it with a knife, but then Thace ripped his arm out of Lance’s hand, pressing his palm to the bio-metric lock. 

“Be quick about it.” 

“Thank you.” 

Thace said nothing, only holding the door open for Lance, letting it close after the last of Lance’s skirts disappeared inside. 

Lance stopped in the doorway, his fingertips brushing against the cold metal of the door. He lifted a hand to tuck a stray strand of silver hair behind his ear, dropping it again when the man finally looked up at him with hooded eyes.

“Hello.” Lance spoke in Galra at first. He had no reaction, and he switched to Altean in a vain hope that he would understand. 

It took him awhile to remember the words, but when he finally got them out he was pleasantly surprised when the man looked up, his expression perfectly mirrored on the others face.

“You speak English?” 

His voice cracked and he had to force the words out from his bruised throat. He carried a different dialect, with slurred ‘r’s and harsher vowels, but it was still understandable.

“No--I--I’m speaking Altean,” Lance knew he shouldn’t be surprised that two planets out of billions had the same language. But it had been so long since he heard anything like his mother tongue, and to speak the language again--

“What do you want?”

It took Lance a while to decipher the words, to remember what they meant. And while he tried to dig up the language he looked over the man’s torn body.

The Druids had hardly done anything to patch up his wounds. They had done enough to make sure he wouldn’t die, and then tossed him back in a cell. Why a solitary block, Lance didn't know. He was still bleeding in places, his hair was even more matted than before with his own blood and sweat, bruises littered his exposed chest and skin, joints were swollen and blood was caked onto his skin. 

“I'm not here to hurt you.” Lance stayed back, gripping the silks around his waist to keep from reaching out. “I just--I want to help you.” 

He kept eye contact with Lance through the silence. It lasted long enough where Lance though that he would have to leave, and then finally he looked away, uncurling his body slowly. Joints popped and a groan left his lips, but still Lance took it as an invitation and he closed the gap between them, falling to the floor and ripping some of the silk away from his skirts. 

“What's your name?” Lance spoke softly, gently wiping the blood away from his chest, revealing shallow and deep gashes alike underneath. 

“...Shiro.” 

His voice cracked and he dissolved into a coughing fit. Lance drew away, hesitantly reaching out again moments later. His hand pressed the silk to a cut that had started bleeding again with the motions of his chest while his other worked across his naked back, dancing across the cuts he got from slamming into the concrete pillars and dirt floor over and over.

“I’m Lance.” his palm splayed across Shiro’s back, holding him steady as he drug the soaked fabric through the dirt and grime and blood. Shiro hissed, and Lance paused only to rip another strip of silk off when the other got too dirty.

Eventually he had scraped away all he could. He dropped the wad of cloth, lifting his hands, waiting for permission. Shiro gave a hardly noticeable nod, and Lance worked his fingers through his hair. He tugged and pulled, and when he could run his fingers through the black locks without much resistance he pulled away. 

“I’m sorry I can’t do anymore.” 

“It’s okay.” his voice was still incredibly raw, but Lance could start to hear how smooth and mellow it used to be. “I--I appreciate what you did.” 

Lance sat back, tucking his legs underneath him. He ran his hands along the silks, smoothing them out, and his bells and jewels tinkled with the motions. There was something so familiar about Shiro, something so comforting and Lance just didn’t want to leave him. 

Shiro looked at him curiously, and Lance cleared his throat.

“Was there anyone else with you?”

“My crew mates.” Shiro glanced over Lance’s shoulder. “But they--they were sent to the work camps.” 

“How many--?”

“Two.” Shiro’s voice hardened, and Lance dropped the topic. He couldn’t talk anymore even if he wanted to, because at that moment Thace opened the door, a grimace pulling at his mouth. 

“Lance, Lotor is--” 

Lance was up as fast as he could be. He started towards the door, but then he turned back to Shiro after a quick pause, kneeling in front of him and taking his hands in his own. “I’ll come back.”

“Lance!” 

He stiffened at Lotor’s voice, then ripped his hands out of Shiro’s and dashed towards the door. He didn’t make it out of the cell in time, and Lotor pulled him out, slamming the door behind them. 

Thace was long gone.

“Lo--”

“Come with me.” 

Lance stumbled along behind him, pressing his lips to keep from hissing in pain at the crushing grip Lotor had on his wrist. When they made it back to their room Lotor crowded him against the wall, looming over him and forcing Lance to arch his neck to look up at him.

“Who let you in?”

“One of the guards.” 

It wasn’t really a lie. 

Lotor took a sharp breath. Lance’s throat tightened as he struggled to swallow, his hands pressing to the wall. He wouldn't give Thace away--and while the actions they both took had nothing to do with the Blade of Marmora, they couldn't afford to loose anyone. Not now.

“If you want to see him that badly, I won’t stop you.” Lotor pushed himself away, his voice harsh and cold and distant. “Just don’t sneak around to do it.” 

Lance slid to the floor, palms slapping against the tile. Lotor paid him no mind, walking out of the room with tension still left behind. Lance’s head smacked against the wall as he leaned back. He squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his fists as he took erratic breaths, his chest rising and falling with the motion, his bells chiming softly.


	2. Quintessence

Lance had managed to get some proper medical supplies about a day later. He bargained them off from one of the Druids, and after stuffing it all into a bag he took from the med bay he headed back to Shiro’s cell. Lotor had posted a guard, and Lance only shot them a glare as he slapped his palm onto the lock. 

It buzzed open, and Lance quickly slipped inside. 

Shiro looked up in surprise.

Lance got on his knees, putting the bag to the side as he started pulling out everything he had brought. 

“I figured they wouldn’t send anyone to give you actual medical attention.” Lance took a bottle full of a liquid that he knew would stop infection, popping the cork and splashing a bit of the liquid on a bit of cloth. “So I thought I'd--that's--if you don't mind--” 

He held the cloth about a foot away from Shiro, searching through those brown eyes for permission.

“Thank you, Lance.” 

Lance was momentarily stunned by his voice. It was still weak, but it had lost its gravelly tones and it was just as mellow and smooth as Lance thought it would be. 

“Are you alright?”

Lance blinked a few times, giving his head a little shake. “I’m fine.” 

He pressed the cloth to Shiro’s chest, keeping his movements slow and gentle. His wounds had been out in the open long enough for infection to start, and Lance was trying to keep it as painless as he could. When Shiro flinched he pulled away, mumbling an apology. 

“No, it’s okay.” Shiro took Lance’s hand, pressing it back to his chest. “I--thank you for doing this for me.” 

He had a soft, sweet smile. Lance lifted a hand, resting it on Shiro’s check, ghosting his thumb over his skin and sweeping the dirt away. Shiro shifted and leaned into Lance’s hand, letting out a small breath. Lance drew away, wiping the cloth over the cuts he missed and then slowly wrapping his chest with the bandages. He wrapped Shiro’s wrists and his swollen ankle, cleaning up a few more gashes before sitting back. 

“I’ll make sure you’re given time to heal before you go back.”

“Go back?” Shiro’s eyes widened. “I have to go back?” 

“Shiro, I can’t--” 

The door slid open, cutting Lance off. 

“Does the prince know you’re here?”

Lance closed his eyes at the new voice, taking a sharp breath, hating how easy it was to slip back into Galran. “It’s not your place to be asking such things.”

He turned around to see the guard that had been posted outside the door scowling, a tray of food in hand. He threw it down to the floor, the bread that had been on it rolling off while the cup of water miraculously stayed on, not a single drop spilling.

Lance didn't flinch. He watched the bread until it came to a stop, and when he looked up the guard winced and took a step back. “Get back to your post. You're not needed here.”

The guard was quick to comply, and when the door slid shut Lance was pushing the water into Shiro’s hands. Shiro took it, watching as Lance picked dirt and mold off the bread.

“What was that about?”

“Shiro, drink.” Lance ignored him. “Please.”

“Lance,” Shiro set the metal cup down, leaning forward ever so slightly. 

“It was nothing.” Lance put the bread in Shiro’s hands, picking the water up and holding it between them. “Please, Shiro, you need to eat.” 

He took a small bite, grimacing as he swallowed. Lance kept pushing until he ate it all and drank most of the water, wetting another cloth with what was left. He went about cleaning the dirt from Shiro’s face, pulling the cloth away slowly as they locked eyes. 

Lance could see flecks of gold mixed with the rich browns, the long lashes framing his eyes bringing out the deep colors. He lifted his hand, his palm floating above Shiro’s cheek as he ran his thumb over the dark circles under his eyes. Shiro blinked slowly at him, his eyes flicking to Lance’s lips before coming back.

“You have really pretty eyes,” Lance spoke in a whisper, staring at Shiro far longer than what was normal and only taking his hand back when he could feel the awkwardness coming from Shiro. “Sorry--”

“N--No, it's fine.” Shiro looked away with a flush on his cheeks.

Even after all these years Lance still forgot that most other races weren't as physically affectionate as Alteans. 

Lance drew back with his own blush. 

“Your markings.” Shiro leaned forward again, his hand reaching out towards the pink markings on Lance’s cheeks before pulling away. “They're glowing.” 

Lance’s blush only darkened.

“Yeah, they do that.” 

Shiro smiled, leaning back against the wall. “I think it's cute.” 

Lance was pretty sure his face was completely red at this point. Shiro was still smiling at him, yet it vanished just as quickly as the door slid back open. 

“Lance, you need to come with me.”

Lance sighed at Lotor’s voice. “To the Druids?” 

He hadn't realized he was still speaking Altean until Lotor grabbed his wrist, sharply pulling him back up. He wasn't expecting it, and he didn't have time to choke down the yelp that came from his mouth. 

Shiro moved towards Lance at his pain filled noise, placing a hand on the ground to push himself up. His wrist gave out on him, and by the time he could right himself they were already gone.

“You know I don't like you speaking that--that filthy language--”

“It's the only one he understands, Lotor! What do you expect me to do?” Lance’s eyes widened at his outburst. 

Lotor stopped and turned around, a look of surprise spreading across his face. It had been a while since Lance spoke back to Lotor, and it had been even longer since Lance stood his ground. Lotor was honestly too surprised by the defiant stance Lance took to be properly mad. 

They stared each other down, and then--

“Then teach him another language.” Lotor hissed it out, turning back around, his grip on Lance’s wrist tightening.

Lance winced, trailing behind Lotor as he took up a brisk walk to Haggar’s lab. He was roughly thrown onto the med table, Haggar hardly sparing him a glance as he handed a needle full of quintessence to Lotor. 

He rolled up his sleeve, plunging the needle into his skin.

Lance couldn't look. He could never look. 

“And Lance?”

The needle clattered to the ground. Lance winced at the sound.

“His isn't quite ready yet.” Haggar moved around the lab. Lance didn't know where she was going and he didn’t particularly care where she was going. He kept his gaze on his legs, wondering how long these leggings would last before he was back in silk skirts. “I need a few more moments.” 

“We have time.” 

Lotor sat next to him, his hand running up and down Lance’s arm in a surprisingly comforting manner. 

“I know you don't like this, but it's the only way we can stay together.”

Lance wondered if Lotor knew how many times he had tried to kill himself over the long years since the war ended. Maybe that’s why he was always injecting quintessence into his veins, far more than anyone ever needed, trying to keep him alive, trying to keep what ever feelings of affection they had for each other in tact. 

Lance just wished Lotor knew that it had died out long ago. 

“It’s ready.” 

He was given no warning as the needle was pushed into his skin. Lance gasped in pain--it never stopped being painful--squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the liquid quintessence move through his bloodstream. Blue let out a distressed cry in the back of his mind, and Lance couldn’t even muster up anything to let her know he was okay. 

God, he hated this. He hated this so much. 

He didn't open his eyes until Lotor was nudging him to his feet. 

“Thank you, Haggar.” Lotor looped an arm around Lance’s waist, keeping him steady. 

“Of course, my prince.” She held the door open, keeping her eyes on Lance until they were out of sight. 

Lance was panting by the time they made it back to the room. The quintessence always drained him, and he curled into the blankets as Lotor gently set him down, Blue nudging the back of his mind in worry. She was always a constant presence when the quintessence was making it’s way through his system, fading back to a dull ache when it spread through his entire body.

Lance hated it. 

“Get some rest, darling.” Lotor ran his finger’s through Lance’s hair. Lance said nothing, turning away from Lotor. 

Lotor stayed for a little while longer. He let out a sigh as he got off the bed, almost to the door before Lance softly called his name. 

“Will you…” Lance paused, knowing there was no good way to ask this. “Will you give Shiro time--” 

Lotor turned to look at him. “Can I what?” 

“He needs time to heal,” Lance took a slow breath, burrowing deeper into the blankets. “Please, don't put Shiro back in the ring.” 

He must have sounded pitiful enough, because Lotor complied without protest. 

“I’ll give him a week.” Lance could here Lotor’s hand smack against the door frame. “That’s it.”

The door slid shut behind Lotor. Lance let out the breath he had been holding, tears falling from his eyes. He held his pillow close to his face, letting out a choked sob as quintessence burned through his veins and Blue pushed at the back of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that 99.9% of the fandom has Lance's little Altean markings as blue, but how cute would it be if they were pink
> 
> also, when your drawing concept art of Lance for you fanfiction and one of your new sorta managers complements you on it


	3. Adored

Lotor kept Lance locked in the room over the next few days. A small part of Lance was grateful--he hadn’t recovered from the dose of quintessence as quickly as he usually did. He spend those first two days huddled in bed, shivering and dry heaving as the energy worked it’s way through his system with Lotor by his side, running fingers through his hair and whispering sweet nothings.

By the third day Blue had faded back to that dull ache he constantly felt and he was well enough to move. Lotor kept him in bed despite Lance’s protests, and by the fourth day Lance was out of the room before anyone could stop him. 

He needed to get away from Lotor; too many old feelings were stirring and he knew he couldn’t go down that road again. Not after last time. 

He needed to see Shiro.

Lance was close to Shiro’s cell when Thace grabbed his arm with a glare on his face, pulling him around a corner and out of sight. 

“What are you doing?” 

Lance knew exactly what he was talking about, and he wasn’t in the mood to argue about it. 

“I know what I’m doing, Thace,” Lance hissed, twisting his arm out of his grip, hoping Thace would let it drop for now.

“You could compromise everything--”

“Shiro has nothing to do with the Blade of Marmora.” Lance’s voice was harsh, but Thace didn’t back down.

“But he could,” Thace countered. “Do not give away our secrets just because you're infatuated with a man who shares your looks.” 

Lance narrowed his eyes. He took a step closer, their chests barely touching. “Do not forget your place, Commander.” 

Lance shoved past him, throwing Thace against the wall. He could hear him let out a growl as he passed, and Lance only shot him a glare as he kept walking. He knew that Thace was right. Lance could speak to Shiro about their fight, about recruiting Shiro to the Blade, about Voltron and their struggle to find new paladins--he could give away everything because of Shiro, but he had enough faith in himself to keep himself in check. Lance would not give up all these years of work for one man.

He wouldn't. 

He hadn't realized he had made it to Shiro’s cell until the taller man was crowding him against the cold steel door, standing on shaky legs as he checked Lance over for injury.

“Are you okay?”

“I should be asking you that.” Lance smiled--acutely aware of the Altean he was speaking--but Shiro didn't back away. 

“It's been--” Shiro paused. “It's been awhile. I was worried.”

“...Shiro,” Lance lifted a hand to grasp Shiro’s, pulling it away from his shoulder. “Do you not know how many days--?”

“It's--it's hard to keep track of time.” 

Lance squeezed his hand. He knew it was hard to tell time in the pale purple lighting of the ship, and even harder to tell in the vast emptiness of space. Lance had struggled for a long time, waiting out so many sleepless days and nights for his biological rhythms to get back to normal. “Shiro, I got you a week, but four days have already passed.”

“Four days--you've been--”

“I just wasn't feeling well.” Lance was quick to reassure him. Shiro didn't need to worry about Lance as well as himself. “But Shiro, you only have--”

“Three days.” Shiro finished for him. “I only have three days until I--”

“I tried to get you more time.” Lance did. He really did, but Lotor had shut him down at every opportunity, pressing his lips to his before he could get out more than a few words and not stopping until Lance _couldn't_ form words, whispering soft reassurances and harsh words in the dark lighting of their room. “But Lotor…”

Lance trailed off, not sure what to say. 

“Is he the one who came and took you?”

Lance nodded, tearing his eyes away from Shiro’s. 

“Lance, what--who is he?”

Lance swallowed. There was no point in lying to Shiro, he was going to find out sooner or later, whether it be someone told him or he picked up enough Galran and body language to figure it out himself. 

Shiro was already picking up the language at an alarming rate.

“He's the prince.” Lance spoke soft enough so Shiro could barely hear. He could feel Shiro stiffen above him and then he was pulling away, his hand dropping to his sides and his eyes going wide. 

“The prince?”

“Lotor, the crowned prince of the Glara Empire.” Lance spat it out, so much bitterness laced in his words. “He leads the main fleet while Zarkon is away. The soldiers like him more than Zarkon, and his ideals and morals are so much better but--they don't know him like I do.”

“Lance--”

“He's not a good person, Shiro. He may not believe in the traditional Galran ways, but he's not--”

Shiro’s hands were on his shoulders again, gently pulling him away from the wall and into his arms. Lance wanted to fight it, but he gave in quickly enough. He was surprised at how much muscle Shiro had and how warm he was. Lance sank into the impromptu hug, letting Shiro guide him to the floor. 

“Lance, you don't have to tell me.”

Lance was more than ready to take up Shiro’s offer, not sure how to describe what exactly his relationship with Lotor was, what the two had gone through. 

He wasn't sure if he ever wanted to tell Shiro.

“He wants me to teach you Galran.” Lance was quick to change the conversation to something a bit safer. Shiro was still holding him in a tight hug, and when he finally pulled away he had a smile tugging at his lips. 

“Teach me then.” 

They spent the next few hours going over the harsh dialect, Lance drawing the letters into the dirt on the floor while Shiro spoke them back to Lance. He was a fast learner, whether from the stress he was under or if he was just good at language, Lance couldn't say. He was, however, more inclined to believe it was the stress, if his ability to learn the language on his own was anything to go by.

“Prince Lance.”

Lance huffed at the tone of voice overlaying the scrape of the door opening, his finger stalling in the middle of a letter.

He knew Acxa was using it as a gesture of sympathy--after all, he had still been a prince when he gave up the right to the Altean throne and he had still been a prince when his planet had died, but he honestly wished she would stop. He wasn’t a prince anymore, and he felt it disrespectful-- _mocking_ \--to keep calling him one.

Shiro looked at Lance in confusion, and then over Lance’s shoulder to the two women standing in the doorway. 

“Prince?” It was whispered in Altean, and Lance gave Shiro a small smile before turning to face the two members of Lotor’s guard.

His guard, his soldiers, his generals--even after all these years Lance still wasn't sure what to call them.

“What do you want?” He didn't bother to switch back to Galran. They couldn't hurt him for it, and even if they did Lotor would never let them repent themselves. 

“I haven't heard you speak Altean in a long time.” Ezor bounded up to him, a grin on her lips. “Does Lotor know?” 

Lance narrowed his eyes. “What do you want?”

“The Prince sent us to get you.” Acxa stepped forward. “He and Lord Zarkon wish to speak with you.”

Lance felt his heart drop. 

“It's nothing bad, I promise.” Ezor gave him a blinding smile. “But I have to pry you away from your boytoy before Lotor gets all prissy.”

“He’s not my--” 

Ezor was lifting him off the floor and pulling him out the door before he could even give Shiro a goodbye. Lance protested, fighting his way out of the general’s hold as they set a brisk pace down the halls.

“There is no need for you--” 

“You know Lotor hates you visiting that human, right?” Ezor kept walking, but Acxa stopped to help him steady himself. “He only puts up with it because it makes you happy.”

“Ezor--” Acxa gave a warning growl, but Ezor ignored it. 

“You’re a liability, a road block, a _mistake_. You make Lotor weak, you make him lose focus because he cares so much about you.” It was said in a heated whisper, but Lance heard every word. He couldn’t really say he was surprised; Ezor had never really liked him as much as the rest of the guard. “You should just stop seeing him and stay by Lotor’s side so he won’t--” 

“Ezor, that’s enough.” Acxa cut her off as they reached the doors to the throne room. “You know better than to speak to Lance like that.” 

Ezor showed no signs of remorse. She only gave them a blinding smile before pushing open the doors. 

Haggar was by Zarkon’s side, and she turned to glance at the three as they walked in. “I see you all made it safely.” 

“Ezor, Acxa, thank you.” Lotor pulled Lance to his side. “You may leave now.”

They gave a stiff bow with their fists over their hearts before leaving. 

“Lance, I’m going to be gone for awhile.” Lance nodded to let Lotor know he could continue. “There are some...freedom fighters that need to be dealt with, and I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for.”

“Right...of course.” Lance leaned into the hand Lotor had lifted to his cheek, hating himself for feeling worry at the prospect of Lotor leaving. “Just come back safe.”

“I will, darling.” Lotor gave him a small kiss, and then waved Haggar over. 

They left rather quickly. It must be worse than Lance had thought, if Lotor was leaving Lance on such a short notice. 

“After all these years, he still adores you.” Lance flinched at Zarkon’s voice. “I will never understand it.”

Lance turned to look at Zarkon. It still felt strange to stand next to him like this when before they had been equals, comrades, friends, family. 

“I think you do, Zarkon. You haven't forgotten her, and neither have I.” 

Zarkon didn’t turn to look at him. “You have no right to speak of her.” 

“You understand perfectly what Lotor is feeling, otherwise you would have killed me along with the rest of our team.” Lance’s heart was pounding, but now that he knew the Blade of Mamora was still safe he felt no need to censor his words. “I only wish I could say I still love him.” 

Lance spun on his heel, leaving the throne room before another word could be said. He went straight back to Shiro’s cell, hardly letting the door open before darting inside.

“Lotor’s leaving.” He fell to the floor next to Shiro, his hands shaking as he balanced some of his weight on his hands. “I can get you more time.” 

“Can you?” Shiro’s voice rose, reaching out his hands to place atop Lance’s. His hands were covered in dirt, and a quick glance told Lance that Shiro had been writing the Galran letters over and over in the dirt. 

“I can try.” Lance squeezed his hands before pulling them away. “I can also get something for you to write with so you’re not writing in the dirt.” 

“Thank you, Lance.” 

Shiro was so close that for a moment Lance thought that he might kiss him out of sheer joy. 

It didn’t take Shiro long enough for him to realize how close he was, and he pulled away with a flush. Lance bit his lip, looking at the ground for a moment before looking back up to Shiro. 

“You’re learning pretty quickly.” Lance gestured to the crudely written Galran. 

“Well, I’m bilingual, so, it’s not that difficult for me to learn another language.”

“Bilingual?” 

“I speak English and Japanese.”

“You speak an alien language?” Lance blinked in surprise. “I thought Earth hadn’t made contact with other planets.” 

“We haven't.” Shiro looked rather confused. “We just--humans have more than one language on Earth.”

“Thats amazing!” Lance had never heard of a planet or race having multiple languages shared between them. There were different dialects and accents, but never different languages. “Tell me more.” 

Shiro did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always think about how weird it is for our tiny little planet to have so many different languages, and I feel like it's honestly such a rare thing for a civilization to have so? many? languages? And Lance is just? amazed by this?


	4. Weapons

Three days was all Lance could get. No amount of begging and pleading would change it, but Shiro assured him that it was enough--that is was more than enough. 

“No, Shiro--you can hardly stand.” Lance was unwrapping the bandage from Shiro’s ankle, giving it a few pokes and prods. “Three more days isn't enough time.” 

Shiro rolled his ankle, wincing at the movement. However, he was still able to move it, so Shiro would count that as a win. 

“I'll be fine.” Shiro gave him a smile. “I've been through worse.” 

“How could you have possibly been through worse?” 

“I have a little brother. Lots of bodily harm comes with little brothers.” Shiro gave a little shrug. “That, and physical conditioning for space travel is pretty rough back on Earth.” 

Lance paused in his prodding. He knew that Shiro was probably only saying these things to reassure and calm himself, but--

“I've never had a little brother.” 

“They’re a handful.” Shiro gave a little laugh that made Lance’s pulse flutter. “Do you have any siblings?”

“I have--had a sister.” Lance ducked his head, giving a few more pokes to Shiro’s ankle to make sure everything was healing alright. “We were twins.” 

“Did she look a lot like you?” 

Lance nodded. “No one could tell us apart when we were little, and we always insisted on having the same hair and wearing the same clothes. It drove my parents mad.” 

“Two of you running around?” Shiro smiled. “I can't imagine.”

“We were the bane of that castles existence.” Lance pulled back, giving Shiro a quick once over. “Stay off that leg for the day, okay?” 

“Anything for you.” 

It took a moment for Shiro to realize what he said, and then he was blushing while Lance went about cleaning up the medical supplies with his own blush. It was quiet while Lance worked, and when he leaned back and looked back up at Shiro it was to Shiro looking right back at him. Lance’s flush darkened, and Shiro was quick to look away, digging his fingers in his hair. 

“Can--can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.” Lance nodded. “Of course.” 

“Why me? Of all the prisoners, why did you come to me?” 

Lance blinked slowly, his fingers curling around the roll of bandages he still held. It wouldn’t harm the Blade if he told Shiro. The only thing it would harm was Lance himself, and Lance didn’t think Shiro would ever hold that against him. 

He hoped he wouldn’t.

“Honestly, you look so much like my people, I had thought--” Lance paused, swallowing around a lump in his throat. “I had thought you might be Altean, and even when I found out you weren't I still wanted to see you. I--I wanted to see someone who looked like me so I didn’t--didn’t completely forget--” 

“Lance--”

“I’ve forgotten what we look like. I’ve forgotten everything about Altea, but you--you make me remember.” Lance was crying. He leaned forward, taking Shiro’s hands in his own, squeezing them as tightly as he dared, saltwater falling on their skin. “I don’t know what it is about you, but you make me remember my language, my people, my family--you make me remember how to be happy.” 

He was pulled into a tight hug. 

Lance buried his head in Shiro’s shoulder, staining his ratty shirt with his tears, digging his fingers in Shiro’s back. He cried until it hurt, with Shiro gently rubbing circles into his skin until he pulled away with tears still falling down his cheeks.

“I--I”m sorry--”

“Lance, it’s okay.” Shiro pulled him back, his chest shuddering with a breath. “You don’t have to tell me.” 

Lance nodded, sinking into Shiro’s arms without another thought. He cried until he couldn’t anymore, and he thought that Shiro needed this just as much as he did, if the tears falling on Lance’s shoulder was anything to go by.

When they finally pulled away Lance noticed that Shiro’s eyes were red, but he said nothing. 

“I--I need to leave--”

“Right.” Shiro let him go, his eyes following Lance’s movements as he stood.

“I’ll be back.”

Shiro gave him a small smile. “I know you will.” 

Lance nodded, leaving the room with a smile. 

Thace was waiting for him outside the door.

“What?” Lance knew it was snappy, but Thace had been on him ever since Shiro came aboard, and he was ready to hit the general if he went off on another lecture. 

“Ulaz wants to talk to you.” He looked angry, and Lance couldn’t help the little shock of giddiness that went through him. “He has some news.” 

“Tell him I’m on my way.” Thace gave him his ‘are you sure’ look, and Lance clenched his fist. “It won’t look strange for me to see a doctor, Thace. I just had my bout of quintessence, and even if I didn’t I’ve been with Shiro enough these past few days for me to warrant going to a doctor for his health.” 

“You’re on a first name bases now?”

“Just call Ulaz.” Lance pushed past him, taking a deep breath to calm himself. 

Lance chose early on that he wouldn’t have a communicator on him. He was almost always by Lotor’s side, and if he was always speaking though a communicator it would give the Blade of Mamora away so quickly that no one would have time to realize they’ve been compromised. It made things difficult for Lance--he couldn’t speak freely with his commanders who weren't on the Galra fleet, and he had to rely on everyone else to get his messages across. 

But Lance would rather deal with some difficulty than lose the fight he had been waging almost his entire life. 

The med bay was entirely empty when Lance arrived, yet Ulaz was still quick to pull him into a corner. 

“The new prisoner you’ve been taking care of--”

“Shiro?”

“Yes, Shiro.” Ulaz didn’t seem all that concerned with his name. “The druids have been speaking to me about possible...adjustments being made to him.”

“What?” Lance balked. “They’re going to experiment--” 

“They might.” Ulaz cut him off. “Lance, we can use him. If they do what I think they will, he could be a huge asset to us.” 

Lance took a small step back. He knew exactly what kind of adjustments Ulaz was speaking of. He’d seen Haggar do them to other prisoners countless times, and every time it made him sick to his stomach, and to think of them doing that to Shiro--

“What kind of adjustments?” Lance swallowed the bile in his throat. 

“They want to weaponize him, both mentally and physically, provided he keeps doing well in the ring.” 

Lance closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

“And you want to change the programming they’ll put in so he’ll work for the Blade instead of the Galra.” 

“Lance, I know that you’re attached to him.” Lace wrinkled his nose at the choice of words. “But you have to realize that this could be a turning point for us. If they make him as powerful as they say they will, we can put him out on the front lines with Kolivan--”

“We’re not going to do anything until we know for certain.” Lance cut him off. “I know just as well as you do how useful this can be, but I don’t think Shiro should be just another soldier on the field, no matter how strong the druids can make him. There's just something about him that’s different.”

“Just because he looks Altean--”

“It’s not that!” Lance wouldn’t lie and say that Shiro’s looks had something to do with it, but there was something else about him. “He--he feel’s so familiar and I can’t figure out what--”

“Lance.”

Lance froze at the new voice, but was quick to recover.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Lance turned to face Haggar, her head tilted slightly as she took him in. 

“I just wasn't feeling well.” 

Haggar was silent. Lance looked at her for a little longer, about ready to leave when she spoke again. 

“I find it strange that after all these years your body still rejects the quintessence.” 

“Perhaps it has something to do with me being part of Voltron.” Lance ignored the look Ulaz gave him. “Voltron saved lives and shared her quintessence with her paladins. She didn’t kill and she didnt steal it.” 

Haggar hummed. “Perhaps. Although, Zarkon never had any trouble.” 

“Zarkon dived head first into the largest source of quintessence we’ve ever seen. I didn’t.” Haggar looked stunned and confused by Lance’s outburst, but he hardly had time to regret his words. “I’m going to go lay down.” 

He left the med bay and went back to his room, falling to the floor before he reached the bed. 

They were going to experiment with Shiro because Lance was getting too close to him. They wouldn’t do it otherwise, Lance knew they wouldn't. 

He knew Lotor told them to, because as much as Lotor said he didn’t mind he got much too possessive much too quickly, and Lance wondered why he even though this thing he had with Shiro would ever last. 

He dug his fingers in his hair, his breathing becoming far too rapid. 

He had to tell Shiro. But if he told Shiro then he would have to tell him about the Blade of Mamora because he couldn’t _not_ tell Shiro that the Blade wanted to use him too. And then what would Shiro think of him? Lance would lose him, and he couldn’t--he couldn’t do that. 

Lance needed Shiro. 

Blue gave Lance a fierce nudge, startling him out of his thoughts.

“Blue, what--” She gave another, knocking Lance off balance. “What is it, girl?” 

There was a weak roar, and then Blue was gone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can never remember any of the Galra names or any of the Blade of Mamora members and I'm always googling 
> 
> also, what the fuck are chapter titles 
> 
> (I can't believe I haven't done this yet, shame on me, but a huge shout out to mettaverse to beta reading for me! Thank you, you beautiful, beautiful soul!)


	5. Champion

Lotor came back the same day Shiro was tossed back in the ring. Lance had been with Shiro when the guards came to take him and Lotor came to take Lance, and it had been almost comical how hard they tried to stay together.

“Just let me walk down with him!” Lance struggled against the hand Lotor had locked around his wrist. “Lotor, please!”

“You’ll see him soon enough, Lance.” Lotor pulled Lance to his side as Shiro was shoved out of the cell, and Ezor gave Lance and impish grin as he reached out for Shiro’s hand. Their fingers hardly touched before Shiro was violently shoved along. Lance tried to follow as Lotor clamped his hand to his hip, pulling him back to his side.

“Lo--”

Lotor silenced Lance with a glare, and he bodily hauled him out of the cell with Ezor and Narti right behind them.

Lance noticed there was a limp in Lotor’s step as he brought him to their room, and when he shoved him through the doors he noticed the bruising on Lotor’s neck.

“Are you alright?” Lance lifted his hands to rest lightly on the bruising, slowly running his fingertips down Lotor’s neck in the most gentle manner he could manage. 

“I'm fine, darling.” Lotor took Lance's hand in his own, his agitation dissipating as he pressed a kiss to his wrist. “You're not wearing your bells.” 

“I didn't see a reason to wear them.” 

The only purpose Lance's golden bells served was so Lotor could easily keep track of him. Lance had disappeared many times those first few years until Lotor gave him his bells, his sensitive hearing able to pick up the soft chimes. Lance had hated them, and then slowly grown to tolerate them, but he had been doing so much sneaking around these past few days that Lance had just taken them off, tired of constantly trying to muffle the noise. 

Lotor took the bells from the bedside table, sliding them back on Lance's wrists and ankles. They tinkled softly, feeling much too heavy around his skin. 

“Narti, will you take Lance to the ring for me? I have some things I need to do before I join you.” 

Narti nodded, reaching out her hand for Lance to take. He took it and Narti gently led him out of the room, turning to Ezor in a silent warning as they passed. Lance wondered what Ezor was planning--Narti never did that unless the other general had something catastrophic planned--but Lance couldn't have even a moment to panic before Narti was leading him out of the room and pushing thoughts into his mind. 

“I will keep her in check. No harm will come to you.”

It wasn't himself he was worried about, but Lance nodded and smiled anyway, gently easing the Galran out of his mind. Narti was always considerate of Lance’s privacy, but he could never shake the fear that she would dive too deep, to the parts of his mind he hadn't learned to block yet. 

The arena was already full by the time they got there. Lance stayed close to Narti as she cleared the crowd, finally letting go of her hand when she slinked back to the shadows when they reached their viewing box. 

“They've already begun to call him our new Champion.” 

Lance looked at Zarkon, blinking slowly. “He's hardly been in the ring.”

“And yet he's won every single time.” Zarkon turned to look at Lance. “The only thing keeping him from the title is the lack of blood on his hands.”

The way Zarkon said it sent a shiver down Lance’s spine, and as Ezor appeared beside him with a grin on her lips Lance knew that was about to change. 

“I hope your ready for this, little lion boy.”

“Ezor, do you honestly think that if he kills--” 

“No, I don't, but Haggar wishes to test him. I just suggested this option,” she cut him off with a grin. “If the prisoner dies, well, it’s a win-win situation no matter what.” 

“Does Lotor know what you did?”

“Of course. I don’t keep anything from him.”

Lance opened his mouth to retort, but then Shiro was being shoved in the arena with a sword in hand. Lotor took his seat next to Lance, placing his arm around his shoulders as Shiro’s opponent came out, the fight starting soon after, neither one of them ready to start. 

“He’s fighting a magic user?” Lance’s eyes widened as Shiro just barely dodged the ball of fire that had been thrown, turning to Lotor. The prince said nothing, keeping his eyes on the fight as he tightened his grip on Lance. “Lotor, you can’t--” 

He was silenced with a kiss.

“Hush, darling, and watch the fight.” 

Lance sat frozen, his mouth still slightly open as Lotor settled back into his seat. 

He snapped out of it when the crowd rose in a roar. Lance turned to see Shiro’s head snap back from the fist that had connected with his cheek, his skin already red from the burn. Shiro didn’t cry out but the pain was obvious, and when he dived behind a pillar he put a shaking hand to his face and ran his finger’s through his singed hair. 

Shiro didn’t have long to rest, and he hardly had time to dodge the next fireball that was thrown at him. He brought his sword up out of reflex, cutting a rather deep wound in his opponent's stomach before he rolled out of the way. 

Shiro finally went on the offence a few moments after that, just as quickly being thrown back to defense.

It went like this for awhile, back and forth Shiro would be on the defense, go on the offence for a few moments before being forced back to defend himself again. His old wounds that hadn’t quite healed were opening up again and he was leaning heavily on his left side, his right leg shaking every time he put too much weight on it. 

He went behind a pillar again, leaning against the stone and heaving air into his lungs as the tip of his sword fell into the dirt. He put his hand against the new burns on his arm, giving it a painful squeeze before diving out from behind the pillar. 

He dodged the next bout of fire with a new found ease, getting close enough to the other fighter to land a solid cut on his wrist. The hand went limp as blood ran down the arm, and Shiro knocked him down, pinning him to the ground with an elbow at his neck. 

His opponent struggled until Shiro slammed his head to the ground, knocking him out cold. 

The crowd was stunned to a silence as Shiro stood, chest rising and falling as he desperately sucked air into his lungs. He stood over him, his arms and legs beginning to shake from the strain he put on them, and when he looked up after a long period of silence Lance felt a pain go through his heart at how wet Shiro’s eyes were from unshed tears. 

“I beat him--what more do you _want?_ ” Shiro screamed it, his voice raw and shaking with the words. 

“It is a fight to the death.” It was Zarkon who spoke first, standing from his seat and walking to the edge of the balcony. “Only one of you can walk out.” 

Shiro looked to Lance with wide eyes. 

Lance hated this. He hated taking innocent life; even after all these years he hated it and regretted it. He didn’t want Shiro to carry around that guilt, to have to know that he had spilled blood on his hands. 

But Shiro couldn’t die. 

“It’s okay,” Lance whispered it as Blue frantically nudged at his mind and Lotor looked at him with confusion. Lance ignored both of them, giving his full attention to Shiro. “It’s okay.” 

Shiro’s eyes hardened. 

Lance watched and held his breath as Shiro slowly brought his sword up. He hardly hesitated before thrusting it into the man’s chest, his hands not leaving the hilt until his last breath. 

When he finally let go Shiro stumbled back, his eyes wide and wet as the crowd rose in a cheer. 

Zarkon waited for the the crowd to quiet down before announcing that Shiro was their new Champion, sending them back into another loud cheer. 

Lance watched Shiro stand in the arena for what seemed like hours. He had to sit as the Druids took Shiro away and sentries dragged the body away, Lotor gently running his fingers through his hair in an effort to calm him.

“Lance--” 

“You have to let me see him,” Lance pleaded, turning to Lotor as his hand stilled. “Lotor, please.” 

Lotor was silent for a moment, digging his fingers into Lance’s scalp.

“When the Druids are done. Then you can see him.” 

“Thank you.” 

Lance fell into Lotor as he stood, giving orders to Narti to come get them when Shiro was back in his cell. Lotor led them back to their room, gently setting Lance on the bed, kneeling on the floor and letting his hands roam across his skin.

“I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you too.” It was an automatic response at this point, and Lance cupped Lotor’s face in his hands, bringing his lips to his own to stop Lotor from going much further. 

Lotor was happy to comply, bringing his hands up to tangle his fingers in Lance’s hair. He tilted Lance’s head to get better access, and Lance found himself briefly imagining that it was Shiro he was kissing. 

He pulled away, wondering where the hell that thought came from, but then Lotor’s lips were back on his own and Lance didn’t have much opportunity to think. 

Lotor had moved to Lance’s neck when Narti knocked at the door. 

Lotor pulled away slowly, giving Lance one last kiss. “Come back soon, alright?” 

Lance gave a nod, dragging his fingertips across Lotor’s cheek before getting up and walking quickly to the door. He brushed past Narti and ran to Shiro’s cell, slapping his palm painfully against the scanner and slipping in before the door was fully open. 

Shiro was holding himself up against the wall, clutching his stomach and throwing up whatever fluids were left in his stomach. 

Lance was quickly by his side, running his knuckles along his spine and carding his fingers through his hair. His bangs had been burned off during the fight, leaving the burns on his cheek on full display.

His wounds were fully healed, so Lance could only assume that the Druids had finally put Shiro in one of the healing pods. 

Shiro was only dry heaving now, having nothing left in his stomach. 

Eventually he slid to the floor, tears running down his cheeks as he curled in on himself. 

Lance followed him, bringing his hands to his cheeks and gently lifting Shiro’s head till they were looking at each other.

“I killed him.” Shiro choked it out, digging his fingers into Lance’s skirts. “I killed him, Lance.” 

“I know.” Lance pulled Shiro closer, pushing his head onto this shoulder and running his fingers through his short hair. “I’m so sorry Shiro. I’m so, so sorry.”

Shiro choked out a sob, pulling Lance closer to him as he cried on his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVERYTHING I DO IS OUT OF LOVE OKAY


	6. A Gift

Lance had not been allowed to see Shiro after that. 

He had been crowned as the champion, and that meant complete and utter solitary confinement from the rest of the world, except for his weekly round in the ring. 

Lance would watch every week, tearing seams out of his clothes as Shiro fought, heart beating wildly as blood spattered across his skin with new wounds that were both his and his opponents, holding his breath as Shiro watched his opponents struggle till their last breath, his eyes hardening every time. 

The only contact Lance ever had with Shiro was brief glances and hurried touches, sliding his fingers across pale skin as they passed while Blue kept frantically pushing at the edge of his thoughts. 

He had sat in his room for hours trying to figure out what she wanted, what she was trying to tell him, but the lion would always fall silent when Shiro was gone. 

When Lance wasn’t trying to speak with Blue he was running around between Ulaz and Thace, hiding in closets as he spoke with Kolivan about the Blade and the freedom fighters, and sneaking into the med bay to see just exactly what they were doing with Shiro. 

Blue would scream at him then, and Lance wanted to scream right back, because he didn’t know what she wanted. 

Eventually he pushed her back enough to focus, feeling a stab of pain when he did.

She was desperately trying to tell him something, and Lance couldn’t figure out what it was. 

“Lance!”

Lance snapped out of his thoughts, looking back down at the screen in his hands. Kolivan was glaring up at him through the static.

“Sorry.” Lance gave an apologetic smile. “You were saying that you needed more supplies in the southern quadrant?”

Kolivan was silent for a moment, the sounds of the Blade’s soldiers training filling the tiny room Lance had hid himself in. “You’ve been awfully distracted every since you’ve been banned from seeing that boy.” 

“He’s--he’s not fluent in Galren yet and I just--I worry.” 

Kolivan didn’t look entirely convinced, but Lance wasn’t going to offer up anything more. 

He was becoming painfully aware of the ever growing affection he had for Shiro, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. 

“Yes, the southern quadrant is running low on medical supplies and they need some sent as soon as possible.”

“I’ll get Thace on it.” Lance made a quick mental note. “And the freedom fighters?” 

“Our troops are still with them, although we may have to pull back.” Kolivan glanced back. “The Gara have been gaining ground on them.” 

“Right. Just keep me posted.”

“Of course.”

Lance didn’t wait for Kolivan to say anything else before turning the screen off and disconnecting. He had already been on for longer than he intended, and he needed to get this back to Thace before Lotor came looking for him. He tucked the screen into his skirts before leaving the room and heading to the control room where Thace was waiting for him. 

“Did everything go okay?”

Lance nodded, passing the screen to Thace. “We need medical supplies sent to the southern quadrant.” 

Thace nodded, turning to the computers to put the request in. He must have been expecting Lance to leave, because when he turned around he seemed surprised to find him still there. 

“Has Ulaz heard anything about Shiro?”

“No. They’ve only been putting him in the healing pods.” Thace cocked his head. “You’ve been incredibly concerned about him lately.” 

“Are you going to lecture me again?”

“No. You know if anything happens to us it’s on you.” Thace turned away again. “I can’t stop you, so there's no point in trying anymore.” 

Lance wasn’t sure what to say to that. He stared at the back of his head for a moment before leaving. His bells chimed freely now that he wasn’t trying to silence them and he kept his head down, ignoring the stares from the soldiers as he reached more populated areas of the ship. 10,000 years later and they still stared at him like he was a piece of meat whenever Lotor wasn’t around, and Lance still wasn’t completely used to it. 

Lance had to pass by Shiro’s cell to get back to his room, and even though it had been weeks since he had been locked out he still pressed his palm to the scanner.

Nothing. 

A soft sigh left his lips, and then he was dragging his hand away and slowly starting his walk again. 

He wasn’t as surprised as he should have been when he ran into Zethrid a few steps down the hall. She grabbed him out of reflex, letting go moments later. 

Lance stumbled back, righting himself quickly enough. “Hello to you too.” 

“Lotor’s looking for you.” 

“I figured.” Lance gave her a smile. “Walk with me?”

Zethrid was the most rude of Lotor’s generals, but she had always been oddly kind to Lance. She would take Lance’s hand--like she did now--leading him down the halls and putting a stop to any of the soldiers advances before they could really start, among other things. Lance didn’t think he would ever really be able to thank her for that, but with the small smiles she gave him Lance thought that she knew. 

She led Lance to a small corridor just off the main hall. Lotor was standing in the dim lighting with Acxa, and when he spotted Lance he broke off from Acxa and jogged over to him.

“Lance,” Lotor ran his fingers down Lance’s cheeks. “I was worried.” 

“I'm sorry, I just needed to get away to think.” 

Lotor didn’t question it, and Lance couldn’t help but think it was because Lotor didn’t really want to know what Lance was doing, in case it had something to do with Shiro. Lance knew that Lotor knew that he was sneaking into the med bay to check on Shiro, and as long as Lotor didn't see or hear it he wouldn’t say anything. 

Lotor took Lance’s hand and lead him back to Acxa, Zethrid right behind them. 

“Prince Lance.” Acxa gave Lance a gentle greeting. 

“Acxa.”

Lance wished she wouldn’t call him that. He wasn’t a prince--

Well, technically he was. He just wasn’t Altea’s prince anymore. 

Lotor went back to discussing the next scouting mission with his generals, his thumb absently running along Lance’s wrist. 

Lance remembered when Lotor would do things like this back before the war happened. When they were on Altea or Daibazaal or anywhere in between they would walk the corridors of the castle or the streets of the cities with hands clasped tight. Lotor would run his thumb along Lance’s wrist while they walked, holding him close as Lance pointed out sights of the cities Lotor had never been too. They would lean into each other, sitting shoulder to shoulder when they grew tired, hooking thier ankles together at diplomatic dinners, stumble into hall ways with hands wandering everywhere the could, give short kisses when Lance left on missions, because there was no need to draw it out when Lance would be back--

“Lance?” 

Lance was snapped out of it when Lotor squeezed his hand just a bit too tight.

“Sorry, I was--I was lost in thought.” 

Lotor pressed the back of his hand to Lance’s forehead, pushing his hair out of the way. “You look a little pale. Maybe you should--”

“I’m fine.” 

It came out a bit more snappy than Lance intended, and Lotor drew away with eyes narrowed in concern.

“Alright. But if you do feel ill, you’ll tell me, right darling?”

Lance nodded. 

Lotor visibly relaxed, and then he turned back to Acxa and Zethrid, his thumb resuming its gentle circular motions. 

Lance remembered a time where he used to love Lotor, and he wished that he didn’t. 

“Lotor, we should probably start heading towards the ring.” 

“It is getting to be that time, isn't it?” 

Lance looked up at Lotor. “The ring?”

Lotor hummed, a smile on his lips. “Shiro is getting an encore performance.” 

Lance’s eyes widened, but he knew better than to say anything. He still carried bruises from last time, when Lotor’s grip became too tight and his words too harsh. He had apologized profusely after, but Lance heard none of it.

Lotor gently tugged him along, and when they reached the ring and their viewing box Lotor wrapped his arm around Lance’s waist before he could get to the balcony. Acxa and Zethrid vanished into the crowd, and Zarkon and Haggar joined Lance and Lotor a few moments after. They exchanged pleasantries, and Lance watched Zarkon as Zarkon watched Haggar, and then the crowd was cheering as Shiro came out and Lance turned all his attention to Shiro. 

There was no expression on Shiro’s face--there hadn’t been in weeks--and he kept his eyes locked on the opposite entrance, his sword raised. 

His opponent was a beast of a man, but the fight ended much sooner than all the others. 

Shiro never once went on the defense. He always had the upper hand, and soon he was standing over a corpse, blood coating his hands from when he plunged the sword into his chest up to the hilt without so much as a flinch. The crowd was going wild, yet when Shiro stood he looked at Zarkon with narrowed eyes, his own chest heaving. 

“You have defeated your opponent in the allotted time.” Zarkon stood, his booming voice silencing the crowd. “As promised, you will be given one gift of your choosing.”

Shiro’s eyes drifted to Lance. They no longer held the terror the first did when he had spilled blood on his hands, but Lance could still see the sadness and shame in them. He wanted to reach out, but even if he could Lotor was keeping a tight hold on him.

“Let me see Lance.” Shiro didn’t break eye contact with Lance as he spoke with Zarkon. “Let me see him whenever he or I choose.”

Lotor’s grip on Lance’s waist tightened. Lance looked to Lotor in confusion--the fighters were never given a time restraint, let alone a gift--but Lotor wasn’t giving anything away in his expression. He was looking at Shiro with such a burning hatred that Lance had to look away again. 

“You wish to see my son’s husband?” Zarkon looked to Lotor.

“You said anything.” Shiro dropped his sword, his eyes going to Lotor’s. “You wouldn’t go against your word, would you?” 

Lotor scowled, his fingers digging into Lance’s hip. 

“No, we wouldn’t.” Zarkon turned his gaze back to Shiro. “Very well, Champion. The prince is, in a word, yours.”

The crowd rose in a scream. Shiro was taken off the field quickly, his eyes meeting Lance’s one last time before he disappeared. Lance was slow to look back at Lotor, who was still staring at the field with murder in his eyes.

“Lo--”

“He was supposed to die.” Lotor spat it out, his nails digging into Lance’s skin.

“Lotor, stop. You’re hurting me.” 

Lotor let go and Lance took off without a glance back. His hip throbbed as he made his way to Shiro’s cell and he could feel blood sliding down his skin, but he could find it in himself to care because Shiro made a deal with Lotor and _Lance was going to get to see Shiro again--_

He caught the cell door just before it closed. 

“Shiro.”

Lance breathed out his name.

Shiro had already cleaned the blood off his hands when he took those small steps towards Lance, leaving them red and raw as he tangled his fingers in Lance’s hair. 

The kiss was messy and harsh and violent but it was everything Lance needed. He dug his fingers into Shiro’s scalp, pulling him as close as he could get him. 

When Shiro pulled away they were both completely out of breath. He dropped his head on Lance’s shoulder, little puffs of breath hitting Lance’s neck and sending shivers up his spine.

“Don’t let them leave me alone again.” Shiro’s voice cracked, tears stinging at his eyes. 

Lance pulled him close as they fell to the floor, pulling him in his lap and tangling his fingers in Shiro’s clothes. He was so warm, so familiar, and Lance felt tears well up in his own eyes as he held Shiro as close as he could. 

“I won’t. I promise I won't.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haggar's and Zarkon's relationship is the most pure thing ever and Lotor loves Lance he just dosent know how to show it sometimes and Shiro dosent know how to deal with feelings and Lance just wants to know what the heck Blue wants
> 
> it's like a soap opera


	7. Whispers and Screams

“Lotor’s your husband?”

Lance’s hands stilled when Shiro whispered the question. Shiro shifted around till he was lying on the floor with his head in Lance’s lap and Lance was quick to resume his motions, carding his fingers through Shiro’s hair as he worked through the tangles and matted patches. 

“Yeah. It was a very long time ago when we married. He was different back then--everyone was different back then.” A sad smile tugged at Lance’s lips. “He was kind, and sweet and caring--I loved him with everything I had.”

Lance paused, taking a small breath. He wanted to tell Shiro this, no matter how much it hurt to think about.

“Our marriage was originally one of convenience. Despite the fact that Zarkon and Honerva married, we needed royal blood on both sides to tie together the treaties between Altea and Daibazaal to follow through with the laws. Allura was to marry Lotor, but she would lose her right to Altea’s throne and I had already given mine up when I became a paladin--I told everyone I would marry Lotor so she wouldn’t have to.” 

Lance looked down at Shiro, running his knuckles down his cheek and across his scars. 

“It took awhile for us to get along, but at some point we just clicked.” He gave a painful smile. “I had really thought that he was the one--that I would love him for the rest of my life.” 

“Do you?” Shiro asked softly, taking Lance’s hand in his own. “Still love him?”

“No. I haven't for a long time. Sometime’s I think I do but--” Lance squeezed his eyes shut. “After everything he's done, I--I still care for him. It doesn't matter how much I try and hate him I just can't--” 

Shiro sat up, twisting his body so he was facing Lance. He took Lance’s cheeks between his hands, his thumbs resting lightly above his faintly glowing markings. “Lance, there’s nothing wrong--”

“I watched him stand by while his father slaughtered my people.” Lance knew he was crying, but he couldn’t stop--he didn’t want to stop. “There is everything wrong with that--sometimes I wish I never even--”

Lance was silenced as Shiro pulled him against his chest. He dropped his head against Shiro’s shoulder without much complaint, bringing his arms around Shiro’s back, digging his fingers in his ratted out shirt and holding him just as close as Shiro was holding him. His chest heaved as air rattled into his lungs, and Shiro brought a hand to his back and gently ran it up and down his spine. 

“You loved him, Lance.” His hand stopped at Lance’s neck, giving it a soft squeeze before running down his back again. “It’s not easy to just--to just drop someone you’ve shared your life with.” 

Shiro’s voice cracked on the last word. 

“Believe me, I know.” 

Lance lifted his head. Shiro’s eyes were a dark brown as he looked at him, and Lance lifted a hand to rest his fingertips just below Shiro’s eye. His other hand wound it’s way around Shiro’s neck, and then he was pulling him down in a kiss. 

It wasn’t gentle, but Shiro was eager to return it. He pulled Lance into his lap as their teeth clicked together, his hands wandering to Lance’s hips. Lance hissed as Shiro’s hand brushed against the cuts and bruises on his hipbone and Shiro was quick to pull away, but Lance chased after him just as quickly, bringing his hands to Shiro’s cheeks as he kissed him again.

Lance tilted his head as Shiro licked his bottom lip, rolling his hips against Shiro’s as a tongue worked its way past his lips. 

Shiro moaned into Lance’s mouth. His grip on Lance’s hips tightened as Lance dug his fingers in Shiro’s hair, giving a harsh tug as Shiro thrust his hips against Lance’s. They were both already half hard, and Lance pulled away from Shiro’s lips to mouth at the sliver of skin below his jaw as he palmed at Shiro’s growing erection. 

Shiro let him for a while, and then he was pulling Lance against his chest as he turned them around, pinning Lance against the wall. He gasped as Shiro kissed along his chest, and Lance found himself thankful that the skirts he was wearing gave Shiro easy access. 

Lance pulled Shiro back into a kiss as his hands wandered to his thighs. 

“God--”

Lance gasped as Shiro gave his member a sharp tug. Lance thrust his hips, leaning into Shiro as he started a slow pace. Lance could feel Shiro’s breath on his neck, and then he was kissing Shiro again and climbing into his lap, pushing him to the ground as he rolled his hips against Shiro’s. 

Shiro moved to meet Lance’s thrusts, and all too soon they were rocking against each other, pressing heated kisses to each others lips and their pace grew more frantic. 

“Lance--”

Lance scooted back, tugging Shiro’s pants down to his thighs. He looked to Shiro for permission, and when he breathed out his name again Lance took Shiro’s cock in his mouth.

It was messy but Lance enjoyed every second of it, humming when he found what exactly made Shiro moan. 

Fingers tangled in his hair when Shiro was about to cum, pulling him off and guiding him back to Shiro’s lips. 

Shiro grimaced at the taste, but he didn't pull away. Lance groaned when Shiro took both of them in hand, finishing them off with a sloppy hand job. Shiro wiped the cum on his hand onto the floor, tangling his fingers in Lance's hair and pressing their foreheads together.

“Fuck--” Shiro breathed it out, closing his eyes. 

Lance hummed in lieu of a response. 

“We shouldn't have--”

“No, probably not.” Lance dropped onto Shiro’s chest. 

If Lotor found out--Lance didn't want to think about that right now. Right now he wanted to stay right here with Shiro. He wanted to listen to him talk, to listen as he told Lance everything about himself. He wanted to stay here in this tiny cell, where he felt safe, and warm, and--

Lance sat up.

“I--I need to go.” 

Shiro nodded, but didn't say anything. His lips tugged into a frown and he looked away. Lance bit his lip, and without much thought leaned back down, pressing a soft kiss to Shiro’s lips.

“There's just something about you,” it was a whisper, but it was enough to get a small smile. 

“Is it a good something?” Shiro asked. 

“Yeah. It's a very good something.” Lance’s fingers trailed along Shiro’s jaw, brushing along his scars one last time. 

Shiro sat up as Lance stood, holding onto his hand for a long as he could. Lance gave him a smile with promises of coming back, but before he could leave he turned back around, hand on the door frame.

“Why were you given a time frame?”

“They told me that I either killed my opponent before time ran out, or they killed me.” Shiro blinked as he looked down at his hands. “I knew they wouldn’t let me go, and I thought about asking them to let Matt and Sam go but--”

Shiro gave a bitter smile.

“If they wouldn’t let me go, they wouldn’t let them go.”

“Are they your crew members?” Lance asked softly as Shiro nodded. “I can--I can check up on them, if you want.” 

Shiro looked up. “Thank you, Lance.”

Lance nodded, gave Shiro another small smile, and then quietly left. 

He was leaning against the door when Blue gave a scream that would have made him fall if he wasn’t leaning against something. Lance slapped his palms against the door, closing his eyes as he tried to pull her back, but by the time he could grab her she was gone. 

“Blue, don’t--”

There was a faint nudge at his mind and a frantic call of something that sounded like paladin. Lance reached out, but this time Blue was really gone. 

“I’m not--I’m not a paladin anymore Blue, I don’t know--” 

Blue didn’t give an answer. 

Lance sat there for a while longer, almost hoping for an answer before pushing himself off the door. 

Blue had faded back to a dull buzz by the time Lance reached his room. Lotor was waiting for him, and any sign of anger was gone as he pulled Lance into his arms with a smile. 

If Lotor knew what Lance had just done with Shiro he didn’t show it. He pushed Lance back onto the bed as he kissed at his neck and whispered sweet nothings to him. Lance hardly paid attention, tangling his fingers in Lotor’s hair as he did everything over again, imagining that it was still Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boop new chapter is out faster than you expected 
> 
> also, bonus points if you can figure out why Blue keeps screaming


	8. Snowfall

Lance lay tangled in the sheets, his arm draped across his forehead, his hand resting on his stomach, gently breathing air into his lungs and Lotor slept besides him.

He looked over at him, reaching out a hand to brush a few silvery strands of hair away from Lotor’s cheek. 

There had been a time when Lance had first stopped taking drugs, had stopped cutting his veins, had stopped tying rope around his neck, when he wondered if it would be easier to kill Lotor rather than himself. It would be all too easy. He slept beside him every night, was with him almost every waking moment--

Lance lifted the covers and slid out of bed. 

He slid his bells off, placing them on the bedside table with a hollow clank. He pulled on a pair of cloth slippers and wrapped a robe around his body, sparing one last glance at Lotor before slipping out of the room. 

The ship was always eerily quiet during its synthetic nights. Lance didn’t pass many guards, and the one’s that he did were so used to his late night wanderings they hardly spared him a glance.

His feet took him to Shiro’s cell. 

He brought his hand to the door, dragging his fingers across the cold steel. He put his forehead to the door, ignoring the strange looks from the guard. He wished he could hear through it, to know if Shiro was asleep or not. Lance didn’t want to wake him, goddesses knew Shiro needed sleep. So he took slow steps away, pulling the robe tighter around him as he spared one last glance at the door. 

It was almost strange how quickly Lance had fallen for this stranger. 

He found himself at the med bay with no recollection of how he got there. Lance didn’t think too much of it--his mind tended to wander frequently while his body took him places--and he drifted over to the healing pods. 

They weren't much different than the ones they had on Altea. They looked the same, sounded the same--the only real difference was the new upgrades that had been added over the years. 

Lance brought his hand to the glass, the soft blue light giving a drastic shadow to his fingers. He pressed his palm flat against it, keeping it there until the glass was no longer cool to touch. He drew his hand away, watching the imprint he left fade, hardly flinching as hands worked their way across his waist. 

“Come back to bed, darling.”

Fingers worked their way through the silver strands of his hair, now a light blue in the glow of the healing pods. 

Lance didn’t say anything as Lotor worked his fingertips across Lance’s scalp. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“Altea.” It came out as a whisper. “Home.” 

Lotor’s hands stilled. It was awhile before he picked up the motions again, this time slower, gentler. 

“This is why I didn’t want you around the prisoner,” Lotor’s words were soft. “You start to think about things like this--”

“No, that’s not it. I--I think about Altea a lot--” Lance didn’t know how to finish, so he fell silent. 

Lotor’s fingers ran once more through his hair before trailing down his neck. Lance shivered at the touch--his neck had always been a sensitive place--leaning back as Lotor’s hand went down his back and to his hip. 

“Let’s go back to bed.” Lotor pulled Lance against his chest. “We can forget about this.”

Lance didn’t want to. He didn’t want to leave and crawl back under the covers and let Lotor’s hands wander. He didn’t want to--he hardly ever wanted to--and the memory of Shiro was still so fresh in his mind--

“Alright.” 

Lance turned away from the pods, taking Lotor’s hand in his own. The light cast strange shadows on the princes face and Lance reached a hand out, resting his palm on Lotor’s cheek. 

Lance remembered so many gentle things about Lotor. 

He remembered all the flowers he would give Lance, the ones he would braid into Lance’s hair and the one’s he would leave on Lance’s doorstep. He remembered all the kisses they shared in empty corridors, the kisses they had before Lance left on missions. He remembered how they would hold hands as they walked through the castle, or when Lance was taking Lotor on a trip with Blue--

He remembered their wedding. 

It had been in the snowy months on Altea, when the lake and oceans were frozen over and white flakes of snow were falling every day. 

“There’s no reason to be nervous.” Allura was running a brush through Lance’s hair, weaving flowers of ice into the strands as she went. “You two are so disgustingly in love--”

“Allura.” Their mother gently chided the princess with a smile on her lips. 

“Sorry Mama.” Allura gave her a sheepish smile before giving her attention back to her brother. 

“I know, I just--feel like I’m cheating on Blue or something.” Lance pulled away when Allura put the last flower in his hair, turning his head as he looked at her work in the mirror. 

Their mother took a step forward, taking a seat in the chair next to Lance. “There are other paladins who are married, dearest.”

“I know, I just--” Lance wasn’t sure how to voice it. “Blue was there first, and--”

“Lance, Blue loves Lotor.” 

Blue hummed in Lance’s mind, a warm feeling washing over him as she agreed with what Allura said. 

Lance nodded, not really having any arguments left. 

“Allura, dearest, can you go check on the preparations in the throne room?” 

Allura looked at their mother, then to Lance. A frown was tugging at her lips, but when she realized what their mother was trying to do she gave a nod and a ‘yes, mama’ before slipping out of the room. 

Lance was still watching the door when his mother took his shaking hands in her own. 

“Talk to me, dearest.” 

“What if I don’t really love him? What if it’s just a ‘you're going to have to marry him anyway might as well enjoy it’ kind of thing? What if were always fighting, or--or I can’t be with him when he needs me because I’m gone on a mission and he ends up hating me--what if I can’t ever come home--”

His mother lifted her hands, placing them gently on her son’s cheeks. She gave him a smile, running her thumb over his pink marking as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. “You can always come home, Lance.” 

“But what if--” 

“I will take your father’s lion and fly to Diabazaal myself if I must.” 

Lance looked down, biting his lip as tangled his fingers in the silver hemming of his clothes. 

“I can’t promise everything will be perfect.” His mother gently lifted his chin, that warm smile still tugging at her lips. “Marriages rarely are. You will fight and you won’t always be there for him, but you love him and he loves you. That love you share will get you through so much, dearest. All your fights and arguments, the time you’ll spend apart, it will resolve itself because of how much you love one another. That I can promise you.” 

“I’m still scared Mama.” Lance swallowed around a lump in his throat. “I love him but I’m still so scared.” 

“It’s okay to be scared.” She pulled Lance into a warm hug, careful of the flowers Allura had placed in his hair. “You can always come home if things become too much.”

Lance nodded, tangling his fingers in his mother's dress as he clung to her. He stayed that way until his breathing evened out again, and when he pulled away his mother fixed a few of the flowers in his hair and straightened his collar, running her hands down the front of his suit to get ring on the wrinkles.

“I’m so proud of you, dearest.” She looked back up, her eyes wet with unshed tears as she smiled again. “I’m so, so proud of you.” 

Lance smiled as his mother ran her knuckles down his cheek one last time before standing. She held out her hand and Lance took it, pulling himself out of the chair. 

“Ready?”

“Yeah.” Lance gave a nod, and then they were making their way out to the courtyard gardens.

The air was frigid in the courtyard. Lance shivered as he stepped outside, but the heat radiating from the lions quickly warmed him. Snow gently fell, sticking to his hair and eyelashes. He blinked them away, gently unlacing his fingers from his mothers as they came to Allura and his father. They were both beaming at him, and Allura took his hand and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. 

“Look at you. My baby brother, all grown up.”

Lance gave her a soft punch. “We’re the same age you doof.”

Allura laughed. Lance rolled his eyes, and when he looked up and over to Lotor his breath hitched.

He was beautiful in his white and silver clothing, with his hair pulled into a braid with silver ribbons. He had such a gentle smile on his lips, and Lance felt a flush come to his cheeks and Allura started him down the snow covered path.

Blue was a constant thrum in his chest as he walked, and when he reached Lotor he could hear her purrs.

Allura stepped aside to join their mother and father and Zarkon and Honerva as Lotor took Lance’s hands. 

“You look beautiful.” Lotor ran his thumb over the back of Lance’s hand.

“So do you.” Lance grinned. Lotor’s smile widened, and then the ceremony began. 

It didn’t last long, and when they finished their vows they kissed in the snowfall with a cheering crowd behind them. 

Lance remembered they had danced until they couldn’t anymore. He remembered Zarkon congratulating them and giving Lance advice on how to balance being a husband and a paladin. He remembered both his father and Lotor shoving Zarkon away. He remembered dancing with Allura, he remembered her finally breaking into tears because her brother had married the love of his life. He remembered taking Lotor’s hair out of it’s braid as he kissed him behind a pillar, taking Lotor for a ride around Altea in Blue. 

He remembered them being happy. 

Lance looked up at Lotor, who was still holding his hands, still looking at him in the dull blue lighting on the healing pods.

“You’ve changed.” Lance took his hands away, letting them fall to his sides. “You’ve changed so much.” 

Lance walked away, not listening to anything Lotor was yelling at him. 

He kept walking till he reached Shiro’s cell. He quietly slipped inside, not all that surprised to find Shiro awake. 

“Lance--?”

Lance fell next to him, tucking himself into Shiro’s side. He didn’t say anything, and after a while Shiro dropped his head onto Lance’s, pulling him as close to his side as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im just the best at chapter titles 
> 
> You still have time to guess why the heck mama Blue is always screaming. I will say that some of you have gotten it right, but I won't say who just yet


	9. Black Paladin

“Your hair,” Lance murmured, still groggy from sleep as he reached up to run his fingers through the short strands. “It's white.” 

“It is?” Shiro's own hand lifted, but he dropped it moments after. “I--didn't know that.” 

It was still growing back in, but Shiro’s hair was long enough now to notice the small shock of white. Lance pulled back a moment after, reached up again with both hands to work through the tangles in Shiro’s hair. He was silent as Lance worked, and when Lance drew back he cupped Shiro’s cheeks in his hands.

“We match now.” 

That got a smile out of Shiro. Lance grinned back, and then Shiro slowly lifted his hand, letting it rest on the back of Lance’s neck. Lance’s grin faded to a warm smile, and he let Shiro pull him down as he pressed a closed mouth kiss to his lips. 

“You should--you should go.” Shiro whispered it against Lance’s lips. “You’ve been here all night--I’m sure people are looking for you--” 

Lance knew Shiro was right. Lotor had already been angry when Lance walked away from him, he didn’t want to think what had happened when he never came back to the room. 

Lance gave a soft sigh, pressing another kiss to Shiro’s lips.

“I’ll come back when I can.”

Shiro smiled, letting his hands fall from Lance’s hips. “You always do.” 

Lance pressed another kiss to Shiro’s lips, lingering until Shiro gently put his palm to his chest. “Lance, you have to go.” 

Shiro’s voice wavered, but he still softly pushed Lance away. He held onto Lance’s hand as long as he could, letting his fingers drag across Lance’s skin before dropping his hand. Lance could still feel Shiro’s touch as he left the cell, and he held his hands to his chest as he took shallow breaths. 

He knew that he was falling in love. He knew that he should do something to stop it, he couldn’t get attached--nothing good came of getting _attached_ \--

But he didn’t care. 

Lance clenched his fist before dropping it back to his side. 

He was falling in love. 

The realization of it didn’t hit Lance as hard as it should have. He felt a calmness come over him, and everything seemed to click into place as he started on his way to the med bay. Thace and Ulaz would be angry--Lance had gotten attached to a _weapon_ \--

Lance abruptly stopped as Blue slammed into his mind. She was frantic, almost panicked, and when she screamed Lance finally understood. He understood the familiarity, the warmth, the screams and cries, the protectiveness. 

Lance took off into a sprint. 

He was to get another quintessence injection today, but he needed to get to Ulaz before that. He needed to get to him before he would be stuck in the bed with Lotor where no one could get to him. 

He rounded the corner into the med bay a little too sharply. His hands reached out for the wall, just barely gaining his balance back as Blue roared and Ulaz tugged him into a corner. 

“The Druid’s are going through with it.” Ulaz was talking fast. “They’re going to start experimenting on the prisoner after his next match. We can--” 

“No!” Lance didn’t mean for it to come out as loud as it did. “No, you can’t.” 

Ulaz didn’t seem surprised by Lance’s outburst. “Lance, you can’t--”

“He’s the Black Paladin,” Lance cut Ulaz off, taking his hands in his own as he dragged him further into the shadows. “”Shiro is the Black Paladin.” 

Ulaz’s eyes widened.

“Blue’s connection has been getting stronger ever since Shiro came aboard the ship. I’ve been able to talk to her.”

“That doesn't mean anything Lance--” 

“His quintessence is the same as the Black Lion’s.” Lance pulled Ulaz back as he tried to slip away. “I hadn’t been able to place it before because it’s been so long since I’ve felt it, and I had a quintessence injection working through my body. You know how it works, Ulaz.” 

“Zarkon has the same quintessence as the Black Lion--”

“No, he dosen’t. Not anymore.” Lance let Ulaz go. “Don’t you see? We can bring Voltron back. We can have a chance--”

“You don’t even know where the Lions are. And even if you did, how do you expect to get the Champion off of Zarkon’s ship? You may be a prince, but you don’t have as much power as you think.” 

Lance grabbed Ulaz again. “I know where Blue is.”

“What good does that do? You’re her paladin, she won’t let anyone else pilot her Lance. You of all people should know this.” Ulaz ripped his arm out of Lance’s grip.

“Ulaz, I haven’t been her paladin in ten thousand years. She will find someone else.” Lance ignored the stab of pain in his chest and the low cry from Blue. “She can get Shiro to the Black Lion, she can find the other paladins. It’s what the Blue Lion does--it’s what the Blue Paladin does.” 

“And where is the Blue Lion?” Ulaz sounded like he wanted to believe Lance, but after everything they had been through it seemed too good to be true. 

Lance bit his lip as he looked away. “Earth.” 

“Lance!” Lance squeaked as Lotor called his name. He came out from behind the corner just as Lotor entered the med bay, taking a deep breath and giving a strained smile. Lotor let out a breath, making his way to Lance. “I’ve been looking for you.” 

“I’m sorry.” Lance worked his hands up Lotor’s side, placing them on his cheeks and forcing Lotor to look at him as Ulaz slipped away. “I thought it would be easier if I just came here.” 

Lotor dropped his hands to Lance’s waist. “You didn’t come back last night.” 

Lance was saved from answering when Haggar called for the two of them. Lotor gave him a look that Lance didn’t pay attention to. He tugged Lotor over to one of the tables, baring his arm for Haggar as he looked away. Lotor was still looking at him. “Lotor, I had to think--I’m sorry--”

He gasped as the needle was plunged into his skin, and all seemed to be forgiven as Lotor rushed forward, wiping tears away from Lance’s cheeks. 

Blue’s screams were so much louder now, and Lance could only cry with her as the foreign quintessence was pushed into his veins.

He was shaking by the time it was done, and after Lotor got his dose he scooped Lance into his arms and carried him back to their room. It hadn’t been this bad in a long time, and Lance was still shaking and crying as he was gently placed in the bed. He pulled the sheets around his body, curling in on himself as tightly as he could.

His skin felt like it was on fire, every bone in his body ached, and the longer he sat there the more painful it became. 

“I’m so sorry, darling.” Lotor gently ran his fingers through Lance’s hair, pressing soft kisses to his cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” 

Lance sucked air into his lungs, tears soaking the pillow as he clutched his stomach. “Make it stop.”

“I can’t--”

Lance choked out a sob. He knew it only hurt this much because his connection with Blue had become so much stronger, and the foreign quintessence was breaking that connection all over again. Lance clung to Lotor as he pulled him into his chest, needing anything to take the pain away. Lotor stayed with him through the rest of the night, and when the lights flickered back on Lotor slowly pulled away, tucking the blankets tighter around Lance’s form.

“I have to leave for a bit.” He pressed a soft kiss to Lance’s forehead, letting his fingers trail down Lance’s cheek. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

Lance didn’t say anything, and Lotor gave him another kiss before leaving. 

It took a long time for Lance to force himself out of bed. It hurt, everything still hurt, and when he finally got to his feet he started shaking again. 

His hand shot out to the bedpost as his legs gave out. 

Blue gave a startled yelp, and Lance slapped his palm to his mouth as he felt bile rise in the back of his throat. He swallowed it back down and forced himself to stand, keeping his hand on the wall as he stumbled out of the room. 

He fumbled around for something to hold on to, a frown working its way onto his lips as the guard outside the door grabbed onto him.

“You shouldn't be out of bed--” 

“I need to see Thace,” Lance cut him off, yanking his hand out of the guard’s. “Where is he?” 

“You really shouldn’t be--”

“Where is he?” 

The guard took a step back. Lance stood there for a moment longer, starting a painfully slow walk when the guard still didn’t speak. 

“Wait--I’ll take you to him.” 

Thace was alone in one of the data rooms. He looked surprised to see Lance when the door slid open, but he stepped aside to let him through. 

“You can leave now.” Lance turned to the guard, who nodded before scampering off. 

When the door slid shut Lance dashed to a trash can, falling to his knees as he threw up the bile he had been struggling to keep down. Thace was by him, putting a hand on his back as Lance spit up bile and watered down blood. 

“You should be in bed.” 

Lance shoved him off. “I need to do something.” 

“It can wait--”

“No, I need to do it while Lotor’s gone.” Lance spit whatever was in his mouth into the trash before hauling himself to his feet. “He’s not going to let me out of his sight for a few days.” 

Thace knew that. Lotor always got protective when Lance took quintessence, and it was next to impossible to get Lance alone. 

Thace sighed, standing back up as Lance wobbled over to the computer. He went to stand beside him, placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder to steady him. 

Lance was sifting through the prisoner logs. It took him much longer than he would have liked to find Matt and Sam’s files, but when he finally did he let out a breathy sigh. They were still in the work camps. They were still safe.

He lingered for a moment longer before pulling up the ship's planned flight path. 

“What are you doing?”

Lance gave Thace a glance. “Seeing how long it will be before we turn around.” 

“Why?” Thace cocked his head. “There is nothing the Blade can do in that quadrant. They’re still free, and we’ve already occupied bases that need to be occupied.” 

“I found the Black Paladin, Thace. And he needs to get back to Earth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONGRATS TO THOSE OF YOU WHO GUESSED WHY MAMA BLUE IS ALWAYS SCREAMING YA'LL KNOW WHO YOU ARE *shower's you in extra brownie points*
> 
> and now, the plot thickens


	10. Lions

Lance was gentle with his movements, his fingers hovering around Shiro’s jaw as he wiped away the blood that had gathered on the bridge of his nose. It was clotted and hardened, and Lance worked quickly as he scraped it away from the still raw skin. 

Shiro stayed silent, his lip between his teeth as the hardened blood tugged at his skin. 

“Don’t bite through your lip.” Lance spoke softly, giving one last tug with the cloth. Most of the dried blood was gone, and Lance dipped the cloth in the tin of water. 

Shiro opened his mouth before closing it again.

Lance pressed his thumb to Shiro’s lip to stop him from biting it again as he drew the damp cloth across Shiro’s skin. The blood had been there long enough to sink into Shiro’s skin, leaving stains behind. Lance started to roughly scrub, apologizing at Shiro’s winces, but not stopping until it was all gone. 

The wound was still open and stretched across most of Shiro’s face. The skin around it was jagged and torn, some of it hardly hanging on. Lance studied it for a moment before pulling away, dropping the now red splotched cloth at his side. 

“What happened?” He picked up another cloth, splashing it with some disinfectant before bringing it back to Shiro’s face. 

Shiro flinched back as the cloth touched his face, but Lance held him still. “One of the guards wasn't having a good day, I guess.” 

Lance froze. “What?” 

“It’s not important, Lance--”

“Yes it is.” Lance pulled away, dropping the cloth as he placed his hands on Shiro’s cheeks. “Shiro, what happened?” 

Shiro stayed silent.

“Shiro, please--” 

“The night guard came in and--and he started saying how I was corrupting you and turning you into a--” Shiro stopped and looked down. He clenched his fingers, biting his lip again.

“Into a whore?”

Lance had heard the rumors. Lotor hadn't done anything to stop them, and Lance hadn't been able to do anything to stop them for a very long time. His title of the Glaran Prince had come to be just that. A title. 

Shiro didn't look up at Lance. He kept his hands on his thighs, his lip turning white from how hard it was being bitten. 

Lance gently placed his thumb back on Shiro’s lip. He slipped it into Shiro’s mouth, pressing down and tugging his lip out from between his teeth. He kept his thumb there, looking at the new cuts and bruises on his face and neck, his fingers dancing across the black and blue on his cheek. 

So many new wounds in so little days.

Lance pulled away. He let his fingers trail down the bruises, ducking his head to look at Shiro’s pretty brown eyes.

“Let me tell you a story.”

Lance spoke softly, smiling as Shiro flicked his eyes to Lance's. 

_“A very long time ago, Altea was ruled by a beautiful queen with a heart made from gold, eyes as blue as the bluest moon, and hair spun from starlight. She was beautiful, and kind and caring, and she loved everyone in her kingdom in equal measure. Kings and princes and lords and paladins would come flocking to her throne, falling to their knees and begging for her hand in marriage._

_‘Bring me a fallen star.’ She would say, talking their hands and helping them to rise, because she never wanted anyone to be beneath her. ‘Then I will marry you.’_

_“And they tried. They tried and tried, but no one could convince a star to fall from the sky. No matter what they all said, the stars would not come down from their places in the heavens._

_‘Prove that your love is genuine,’ they would say. ‘Then we will fall for you.’_

_“Then, one day, a Paladin with hair as dark as the night sky came to the Queen’s throne room. She set her sword down and took the Queen’s hands in her own and spoke in a soft voice, ‘My dearest Queen, I would be honored if you would take my hand in marriage.’_

_‘Bring me a fallen star,’The Queen said with a smile. ‘Then I will marry you.’_

_“The Paladin went to the place of the stars, tilted her head to the skies and asked ‘Would you fall from your kingdom for love?’_

_‘Prove your love,’ the stars said. ‘Then we will fall.’_

“This is gonna make me sad, isn't it?” Shiro asked, smiling as Lance weakly hit his arm. 

“You’ll just have to listen and find out.” 

Shiro’s smile widened. “Please, continue.”

Lance rolled his eyes.

_“The Paladin wasn’t sure how to prove her love. She could slay a beast in the Queen’s honor, leave on a quest to find jewels worthy of adorning the Queen’s neck, fall to her knees and shout to the stars her love--but none of those things seemed right. The Paladin thought, and finally she looked to the stars._

_‘I will sing to you my love.’ She said._

_“And she did. She sang a song so beautiful that the stars wept and fell from their place in the Heavens. The Paladin kept slinging as she gathered the stars, and she kept singing as she journeyed back to the palace, only finishing her song as she presented the stars to the Queen._

_“The Queen smiled as she took them. ‘Thank you, my dearest Paladin, my dearest love.’_

_“Then she let the stars go back to their place in the heavens, for the Paladin had proven her love to be true.”_

“I like that,” Shiro spoke softly. At some point during Lance’s story he had drifted to Lance’s lap, his head resting on his thighs as Lance worked his fingers through Shiro’s hair. “The Queen kinda sounds like you.” 

Lance hummed softly. “How so?” 

“Well, you’re kind, and caring.” Shiro smiled as Lance flushed. He lifted his hands, pressing his thumbs gently against Lance’s pink markings. “You’re beautiful.” 

“No I’m not.” Lance closed his eyes. “I’m not beautiful.”

“Yes you are.” Shiro sat up, turning around till he was facing Lance. “And I’ll catch a thousand falling stars to prove it to you.” 

Lance swallowed. “Are you my paladin, then?” 

“I’m anything you want me to be.” 

Shiro pressed his lips to Lance’s, and Lance was all too happy to kiss back. He tilted his head just so, bringing his hand up to curve around the back of Shiro’s neck. Shiro pressed closer and Lance spread his legs to give Shiro more room, and when they pulled away they were both panting. 

Lance closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to Shiro’s as he tangled his fingers in Shiro’s hair. “Shiro I--I have to tell you something.” 

Thace and Kolivan had told him to keep his mouth shut. They had told him Shiro couldn’t know until Ulaz had gotten confirmation on what experimentation would happen on Shiro. They would have much rather preferred if Shiro had not known at all, but Lance had pushed until they gave, and now--

“You’re the Black Paladin.” It was a harsh whisper spoken in the silence of the cell. “You’re the head of Voltron.” 

Lance had told Shiro stories of Voltron in the darkened nights that they had spent together. He had told Shiro how the lions were made and the connections they had made, of his own connection with Blue. He had told him of the legends that had grown around them, how they had come to be the protectors of the universe. 

He had told Shiro how they had failed, how he had failed. 

“You told me that Voltron had died--”

Lance shook his head. “No, most--most of her Paladins had. My Father hid the lions across the universe when it was just him left. He had assumed I had died, and the rest of the paladins had passed from this world--it was just him left. My Father knew that he couldn’t defeat Zarkon, even if he had all the Lions on his side. Zarkon was the head of Voltron, so my father scattered the Lions before Zarkon could use them to his advantage.” 

Shiro looked dumbfounded. “If you knew where the Lions were--”

“But I don’t.” Lance bit his lip. “I--I only just learned of Blue’s location a few days ago.” 

“Lance, I can't--”

The door slid open, cutting Shiro off. Lotor stood in the doorway shadow, a furious look trained on Shiro. Shiro scrambled back, and Lance was quick to follow until Lotor shifted his eyes to Lance, pinning him to his spot.

“Get up Lance.” 

Lance did. 

Lotor’s hand shout out, clamping around Lance’s wrist. Lance hissed at the sudden pain. He was roughly pulled against Lotor’s chest, and then he was being dragged out of the cell, the door sliding shut behind him with a resounding thud. Lance stumbled when Lotor didn’t give him a chance to right himself, and then he was being tossed onto the bed, Lotor still keeping a bruising grip on his wrist.

“Stay here.” 

Lotor finally let go. Lance’s skin was already beginning to blacken, and he cradled his wrist against his chest as Lotor slammed the door to the bedroom shut. 

Lance wasn’t sure how long he waited in the pressing silence, but when Lotor came back he looked more calm. 

“Lance, come with me.” He held out a hand that Lance flinched away from. Guilt flashed across Lotor’s face, and he quickly dropped his hand. “Darling--” 

“What did you do?” 

Lotor did not respond. He held out his hand again, moving it slowly. Lance glanced at it, and when Lotor didn’t make to move again Lance took it. He was pulled to Lotor’s side with a hand quickly snaking around his waist in a possessive grip. Lotor wouldn’t meet Lance’s eyes as he lead him out of the room and down the corridors to the gladiator ring, and realization slammed into Lance hard enough to knock the wind from his lungs. 

He couldn’t say anything, and when he finally found the words to speak Lotor had pushed him into his chair, silencing him with a brutal kiss. Lance was so startled that he didn’t respond at first, and when Lotor pulled away he looked down at the arena--at Shiro. The Champion stared back, unblinking. They held eye contact for a few more moments, and then the gates slid up and Lance heard snarling at growling and saw golden pelts--

Lions. They had let Lions into the arena. 

“What are you doing--” Lance cut himself off when a sentry approached the barrier. Shiro was behind with a sword in hand. There was no hesitation when it grabbed Shiro’s wrist, yanking his arm through the bars. There was no hesitation when it sliced through Shiro’s arm, yanking the arm free from the last bits of skin and muscle still keeping it on Shiro’s main body. There was no hesitation as the sentry dropped the now lifeless arm to the dusty ground in a pool of blood. 

Lance’s hands flew to his mouth as he screamed. 

Shiro didn’t scream. 

He stared at the arm with wide eyes. He kept staring as the gate was lifted. He kept staring as Zarkon’s voice boomed through the ring, announcing that Shiro would need to fight for his new weapon. He kept staring when Lance screamed at him, finally reacting when the first lion slammed into him. 

It got a decent sized bite in before Shiro could kick it off, and blood was running down his shoulder and arm as he dived for the sword that they left of the ground for him. 

He swung the sword, tearing the lion’s throat open with his momentum as it lunged at him again. 

Shiro stumbled as a second lion came at him, falling to the ground as it lunged. He couldn’t get back up, and Lance watched with tears stinging his eyes as Shiro barely rolled out of the way in time. He thrust his sword up as the lion pounced, pushing it through the thick pelt and chest. Blood sprayed his face, and Shiro kicked the lion away while yanking his sword out of the carcass and struggling to his feet. 

He swayed and stumbled, the sword beginning to slip from his shaking hand. 

Shiro’s chest was heaving, and Lance could see cracks in the blood from Shiro’s tears. He was shaking, but Shiro didn’t have time to let the panic set in as the third lion took slow careful steps towards him. 

The lion started to circle. Shiro swayed as he followed its movements, his sword dragging in the dirt as he spun on his left side. 

Lance hadn’t realized he had bit his hand until he tasted blood and the lion lunged. 

Lance saw the sword tear through the lion’s chest. Shiro dived out of the way before the lion fell, and he stood, sucking air into his lungs as the lion slowly died before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he passed out. 

The Druid’s rushed out, taking Shiro away as the crowd rose in a cheer. 

Lance was yanked out of his chair, and he and Lotor only made it as far as the corridor before Lance threw Lotor against the wall.

“Are you trying to kill him?” Lance screamed it, not caring if people hear.

“Yes!” Lotor screamed right back. 

Lance stared at him, dumbstruck. 

“Do you honestly think I don’t know what you two do?” Lotor’s rage was barely constrained, his hand twitching as he resisted the urge to wrap it around Lance’s neck. “I know you fucked him. I know you kiss him like your life depends on it.” 

Lance’s hand dropped from Lotor’s shoulder.

“I know you’re falling in love with him, Lance.” 

“How--”

“I watched you fall in love with me, Lance.” Lotor spat it out. “I know what it looks like.” 

Lance took a step back, his hands flying to Lotor’s wrist as Lotor’s hands tangled in his shirt. 

“You need to remember who you belong to. And if killing that disgusting thing is the only way, then so be it. It just so happened that the Druids were ready for their little experiment, so I took my chance.” Lotor let him go, a sneer on his lips as he stalked away. 

Lance stared long after Lotor was gone. Then he was running to the med bay, screaming as Thace pulled him back before he could get through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I arise from the ashes of writers block and college with doing severe physical damage to Shiro because I love him so much


	11. To Go Home

Thace had put Lance back in his and Lotor's room, locking the door behind him. Lance had screamed and hit the door until his palms were bruised and his voice was gone, then he shattered the mirror and screamed until the only thing coming from his mouth was blood. 

When Lotor came back Lance was huddled in the corner, a shard of glass in his hand, blood falling in lines down his arms and tears in his eyes. 

Lotor ran to him, gently taking the glass from his hands. 

Lance fought him until he was pulled into Lotor’s lap with strong arms wrapped around him like a vice. With no other option he fell limp, a sob ripping its way out of his throat. 

“I just need you to understand--” Lotor dug his fingers in Lance’s hair, pushing his head to rest against his shoulder. “--I only did this so you would understand--” 

“Let go of me.” Lance forced his voice out of his throat.

“Lance--”

“Let go!” Lance’s voice cracked as he screamed and pushed his way out of Lotor’s lap. He stood and bolted to the door, darting out and slamming it shut before Lotor could even get up to follow. 

His mind was racing as he ran. He needed to fix this--but how? How could he? Shiro might have already been dead by the time they made it to the med bay-- would they even take him to the med bay? Zarkon said something about a new weapon--the labs? Would they even let him into the labs?

“Lance?”

Lance stopped in his tracks. 

Ulaz was coming out of the med bay, a puzzled look on his face as he looked at Lance. “What are you doing--?”

“Where’s Shiro?” Lance’s voice was rough and harsh and demanding. He was not going to deal with Ulaz’s diversions right now. 

“The lab,” Ulaz replied quickly enough. “They won’t let you in. Lotor’s orders.”

Lance cursed. 

“Lance, despite the way this came about, this is a good thing.” Ulaz took a tentative step towards him. “I’ve been put in charge of Shiro’s modifications, I can--”

“Put a tracker in his arm.” 

“What?” 

Lance’s mind was spinning. He couldn’t let the Blade use Shiro as a weapon. He was so much more than that-- he was the leader of Voltron. He could not be reduced to another soldier thrust onto the front lines. “Put a tracker with the coordinates to the Blade’s main base in the arm.” 

“You can’t still be on about--” Ulaz paused, only now just noticing the blood on Lance’s skin. “You’re bleeding--”

“Ulaz, if you don't do this you had better pray to all your gods that I don’t kill you.” Lance took a step forward on shaky legs. “He will pilot Voltron. I will not let you ruin this by turning him into a weapon that Kolivan can exploit.” 

“Lance, we need to get you to a pod--”

“Tell me you’re going to do this, Ulaz. Look me in the eye and tell me you’re going to do this.” 

“Do what?” Ezor sprang up behind Lance with Natri.

“It’s none of your goddamn business Ezor--” Lance seized up, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he passed out into Natri’s arms. She lifted him like he weighed nothing, cradling him to her chest. 

“Do what, Ulaz?” Ezor took a step towards the general.

“Lance wanted to get into the labs to see Shiro.” It wasn’t too much of a lie. “I wouldn’t let him.” 

Ezor hummed and took a step back. “Well, Lotor sent us to get Lance into a pod, so..”

She trailed off, giving a little wave as she and Natri went through the doors to the med bay with Lance. Narti let her hold on Lance’s mind go and was gentle with him as she placed him into the pod, but they only stayed long enough to make sure everything was working until they left. 

Ulaz had been long gone when Narti and Ezor left the med bay. 

 

oOo

 

When Lance woke it was to familiar silk sheets and Lotor on a stool by the bed, his hand resting on Lance’s as he waited for Lance to wake. 

“Lance--”

Lotor breathed out his name. Lance looked away, pulling his hand away from Lotor's.

“Everything I did was for us.” 

Still Lance said nothing. 

“Lance, darling, I love you.” Lotor looked pained. “You are my moon and stars--my world would crumble without you.” 

“Get out, Lotor.” Lance looked away. 

“Darling--”

“Get out.” 

Lotor fell silent, and Lance didn’t look at him. For a few minutes nothing happened, but then the stool legs scraped against the floor and Lotor’s boots clicked as he walked, then the door opened, then closed. Still Lance looked away, only turning back as silence descended the room again. 

Lotor was gone. 

Lance hung his head, gritting his teeth as he fisted the sheets in his hands. It took him a moment to remember what had transpired between him and Ulaz in the hall, and when he strung together enough hazy memories to put it together he threw the sheets off and stood on shaky legs.

He huffed out a breath, stumbling the first few steps as he made his way to the door. Lance brushed away the help the guard at the door offered, shooting him a glare when he tried to follow. The guard took a step back, but Lance didn't spare him another glance as he made his way to the med bay. 

“How long was I out?” It was the first question out of Lance’s mouth when he reached the med bay.

“Two days.” Ulaz’s response was quick. “I hope you have a good reason for Kolivan as to why I put that tracker in Shiro’s arm.” 

Lance visibly sagged in relief. “You actually did it?”

Ulaz glanced at him. “Of course I did.” 

Lance sat on one of the medical tables. He hunched his shoulders, lacing his fingers together. His palms were clammy, and Lance knew he would need to go back and rest after this conversation. He was still dealing with the effects of the last qintenssess does, and having a round in the healing pods didn’t help. “I’ll deal with Kolivan, I promise.” 

“You better.” 

They fell into silence as Ulaz worked on the quintenssess injections. Haggar always did the finalization on the injections, but Ulaz did a lot of the preparation. 

“...where is Shiro?”

“Back in his cell.” Ulaz looked up. “He only just left the pods Lance, he’s not going to be all there.”

But Lance was already gone. 

It took awhile for the scanner to read his palm, and once the door opened Lance darted in and fell next to Shiro. 

“Are you alright?” Lance cupped Shiro’s cheeks in his hands, holding him tight. 

Shiro gave a breathy laugh. “Not really.” 

“No, of course you’re not.” Lance pressed their foreheads together, brushing the white fringe of hair out of Shiro’s eyes. “That was a stupid question.” 

“No it wasn’t.” Shiro lifted his hand, brushing his thumb along Lance’s cheeks as he dug his fingers in Lance’s hair. His other arm-- _metal, it was metal_ \--was lying limp at his side. Shiro closed his eyes. “I can move it, I just--” 

“It’s okay,” Lance laughed softly as Shiro’s hair fell back, tickling Lance’s nose. “Your hair is getting long.”

“You know, I didn’t actually believe you when you said it was white.” Shiro smiled, opening his eyes again. 

Lance ran his fingers through the white fringe. It was surprisingly soft, but Lance knew Shiro’s time in the healing pod was the cause behind it. He tugged the hair away from his eyes, pinning it back with his fingers as he brought his other hand around to cup the back of Shiro’s skull. 

“I'm glad you’re alive,” he mumbled, pressing his lips to Shiro’s jaw. 

Shiro tilted his head so their lips would meet. The kiss was slow and sweet, and when they pulled away Shiro’s eyes were still closed, his mouth parted as he twisted Lance’s hair around his fingers.

“Before you--” Shiro paused, his eyes slowly fluttering open. “You said that I was the Black Paladin.” 

“Shiro, you are.” Lance cupped Shiro’s cheek, carding his fingers through the soft hair. “I have been around the Lions and her paladins for much of my life; I’m of royal Altean blood, I was the Blue Paladin--I can feel quintensesses matches, and you have a match with the Black Lion.” 

Lance breathed out a laugh. “The two of you are so similar--I’m surprised I never noticed it sooner.” 

“Even then--”

“We will get you to her,” Lance cut him off. “I promise.” 

“Will you come with me?” Shiro asked, his fingers sliding through Lance’s hair. “You’re a paladin too.”

“I’ll be where I need to be.” Lance’s voice was soft. “We’ll need to speak to Kolivan.”

Shiro blinked in confusion “Who’s-?” 

“I can't tell you, not here.” Lance held Shiro close, digging his nose in the crook of Shiro’s neck and shoulder. “But I promise we’ll get you home.” 

Shiro wrapped his arm around Lance’s waist. He pulled Lance into his lap, holding him impossibly close. “I want you to come with me. Wherever I go, I want you there.” 

Lance knew he couldn't leave. This is where he was needed, on this ship, by Lotor's side, relaying information and sending help to his troops and keeping them as safe as he could. He couldn't go back to Voltron, not after he failed. He couldn't keep them safe on the front lines--he couldn't do it then, he couldn't do it now. 

Lance closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath and the lingering scent of sharp hot air, and said nothing. 

Blue let out a mournful cry. Lance pushed her back, ignoring the sharp pain in his heart. 

He stayed with Shiro until he fell asleep. He slowly detangled himself from Shiro’s arms in time with the soft rise and fall of Shiro’s chest. He twitched at the loss of Lance’s warmth, but did not wake. Lance pressed a soft kiss to Shiro’s forehead, lips ghosting over the burn scars that still lingered. It had been a little under seven months since Shiro came here, and he had already gone through so much. 

“I think I might love you, Takashi Shirogane.” Lance whispered it, pressing one last kiss to his skin. Then he stood, leaving the cell without looking back. 

Lotor was on the bed in the bedroom, hands clasped together, elbows resting on his knees as he looked out with window, eyes reflecting the stars. 

He looked almost...sad.

Lance took a deep breath before pushing the door open the rest of the way. 

Lotor was quick to turn around, but he remained guarded. “Lance.” 

“I’m sorry.” Lance hated himself as soon as the words came out of his mouth. “I--I had just been so happy so see someone who looked so much like me--”

“It’s alright,” Lotor looked a little more relaxed, but still did not move. “Just tell me you won’t see him again.” 

Lance squeezed his eyes shut. “Just one more time. Please, just let me see him one more time.” 

“Why should I?”

Lance could feel a tear roll down his cheek, and he wanted to cry and scream and hit himself over and over. “I’ll do anything you want, Lotor.”

“Anything?”

“Yes.” Lance’s voice was hardly a whisper. “I’m yours.”

When all was done and Lotor was asleep in bed, Lance found himself hunched over the bathroom sink, burning his throat and heaving bile and water out of his stomach while he nursed the new bruises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARE YOU READY FOR ANGST? EVEN MORE SO THAN USUAL? 
> 
> College has been kicking my ass, so that's why updates have slowed down a bit
> 
> ((also, if it wasn't too clear, basically the only way Lance is going to get Shiro out is if he stops seeing him because Shiro is so closely monitored when Lance is around. And since Lance pissed Lotor off big time, he has to do a lot of shit to get back on his good side to get what he needs))


	12. The Blade of Marmora

A week. 

That’s how long it took Lance to convince Lotor to give him the time he needed to be alone with Shiro. 

No cameras, no guards, no Lotor. 

Lance tried to hide the limp to his step as he finally walked into Shiro’s cell, but he stumbled on his last step. Shiro caught him before he could fall, concern clouding his features as he took in all the bruises on his cheek and neck and wrists. Lance had managed to hide most of them with his clothing, but the Galran fabrics only covered so much.

“Lance--”

“I’m alright.” Lance gave him a smile. “I promise.” 

“No, you’re not.” Shiro held Lance close, slowly lowering them to the floor. “Lance, what did he do to you?” 

“It’s not important-- Shiro, we don’t have much time.” Lance hated to let him go. “We have to speak with Kolivan.” 

Shiro looked like he wanted to protest, but Lance had the tablet out and was already accepting Kolivan’s call. 

“So this is him.” Kolivan looked much less impressed than Shiro did. “The man you went behind my back for.” 

“This may be our fight, but they’re my soldiers, Kolivan.” Lance narrowed his eyes. “You will advise me in our war, but you will not tell me what to do.” 

Kolivan huffed out a laugh. “You claim not to be a prince, but you certainly lead like one.” 

Lance didn’t say anything. 

“How much does he know?” Kolivan jerked his head towards Shiro.

“I told him about Voltron.”

“And the Blade?”

“He knows nothing.” 

Kolivan hummed in thought. “Perhaps it should stay that way.” 

“No.” The harshness of Lance’s voice startled both Shiro and Kolivan. “You need him--you need Voltron. The Blade can't fight the empire alone.” 

“We’ve been doing it for the past ten thousand years.”

“Have we?” Lance asked it softly. 

Kolivan was silent for a moment. Shiro looked between him and Lance, reaching out a hand towards Lance’s. Lance gave him a sad smile, lacing their fingers together as he turned back to Kolivan. Shiro bit his lip, and Lance was quick to turn back and gently press his thumb to Shiro’s lip.

“Sorry,” Shiro whispered, and Lance just smiled as he pressed a kiss to the corner of Shiro’s lips. 

“What do you propose then, Lance.” Kolivan drew Lance’s attention away from Shiro. 

Lance had the faintest flush across his cheeks. “A prison break.” 

Kolivan blinked.

“A prison break.”

“Yes.”

“Do you have any idea how difficult--”

“Of course I know,” Lance cut him off, and Shiro was surprised at how quickly he slipped back into the role of a military leader. “But we can set all these people free, and you have to agree that a large scale prison break is much less suspicious than one man escaping on his own.” 

Kolivan narrowed his eyes. “A prison break that large will take months of planning.”

“Which we have. We won't reach Earth for another five months.” 

“Zarkon is going back to earth?” 

Lance looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. He worked his bottom lip between his teeth, and Shiro's eyes widened as he realized where some of those bruises had come from. “Lotor found out the location of the Blue Lion.” 

“Lance--” Shiro reached out, and this time Lance didn't back away. He fell into Shiro's arms with a soft sigh.

“I'm okay, my starlight.”

Shiro flushed at the endearment. He had never heard Lance say it, and Lance didn't seem to realize he said it. 

“He didn't hurt you, did he--?”

“No, I'm fine Kolivan.” It was a blatant lie, and everyone knew it, but neither Shiro nor Kolivan dared to ask again. “We just have to get Shiro there before the Galra get there.” 

“Yes, of course.”

And so they planned. 

Shiro offered what he could, but there wasn't much information he could give outside of the guards rotation schedules he had so dutifully memorized. Lance and Kolivan gladly took the information, then spoke of things that Shiro didn't understand. Lance tried to fill him in, but Shiro just gave him a smile and told him not to worry about it. They had limited time, and Lance didn’t need to worry about telling Shiro things he didn’t explicitly need to know.

Once they had a vague idea of how they would execute the prison break and promises from Lance that he would speak to the rest of the members, Lance turned to Shiro. 

“I hate that I couldn’t tell you.”

Shiro didn’t need to ask what he was talking about. “You did what you had to Lance.” 

“But the Blade concerns you too--”

“You can tell me now.” He ran his fingers through Lance’s hair. “That’s what's important.” 

Lance nodded, then took a shaky breath. “You know the story of Altea’s destruction.”

Shiro gave a small nod. 

“I had been on Zarkon’s ship when it happened. Lotor had taken me up moments before it happened, and we just sat and watched.” Even after all these years, there was still a waver to Lance’s voice. “After, I--I didn’t bother to try and escape. I had no idea where Blue was, and without her there was nowhere for me to go. I was so distraught that I--I kept trying to kill myself.”

Shiro had always suspected, but Lance’s conformation sent a jolt down his spine. 

“That’s what started the quintessence injections. I wasn’t supposed to get any for a long time, but by my fifth attempt,” Lance gave a soft laugh. “Lotor was tired of sticking me in the healing pods, I suppose.” 

“Lance--”

“I wanted to die so badly, Shiro. But once Zarkon started conquering planets and bringing prisoners aboard and forcing them into labor camps or into death matches it didn’t matter what I wanted, I had to protect the people I had been sworn to fight for.” Lance’s fingers tangled with Shiro’s, and Shiro squeezed and held him as tightly as he could. “I started to reach out to rebels and freedom fighters. I offered what I could, but Lotor and Zarkon had such a close watch on me that there wasn’t much I could do outside of sparse medical supplies.”

Shiro could imagine it. Lance sneaking in and out of the med bay, smuggling supplies in and out. 

“I ended up getting caught by one of the guards. She hadn’t said anything to me-- she just gave me a nod and then walked away. A few weeks later I saw her again. She managed to get me away from Lotor long enough to tell me that a few of the Galra were beginning to fight back and build resistance groups.” 

“Marmora was a good woman.”

Lance gave Kolivan a sad smile. Shiro wanted to ask, but he didn't dare pry. 

“She went missing almost twenty years ago,” Lance answered his unspoken question. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro whispered it, not sure if it should even be said. 

“She--” Lance took a deep breath. “It took months for me to finally see her again. Lotor left on one of his missions and Zarkon had lessened his security on me, so it was easy for me to slip away. I don’t know how long we talked for, but when someone came for me we had the shaky foundations of the Blade set.” 

Lance gave a small laugh. “There were only twelve of us, and now look at how much we’ve grown. Bases in every sector of the known galaxy, members in high positions in Zarkon’s council, freedom fighters-- I just wish--”

“Do not say that you wish you could do more, Lance.” Kolivan cut him off. “You and Marmora have done so much for this war-- we would be nothing without you two.” 

Lance looked away and bit his lip. 

Shiro pulled Lance a little closer. “You’re amazing, Lance, you know that?”

It managed to get a smile out of Lance.

“The Blade of Marmora had been a joke at first. The name, I mean. I had said it one day to her, and then it just stuck.”

“I’m glad it did.” Shiro pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Lance’s lips. 

Kolivan cleared his throat. “You will contact me when you have informed Thace, yes?’

“Yes, of course.” Lance gave him a nod, and then Kolivan signed out. 

Silence fell in the cell. Shiro held Lance close, not knowing what to say. He didn’t know how long they stayed there, and when a soft knocking came at the door Lance sucked in a breath, wrapping his arms around Shiro as he burrowed into the junction of his neck and shoulder. 

“Shiro, I dont--” Lance closed his eyes, swallowing around the dryness in his throat. “I don’t know if I can see you again.” 

Shiro squeezed his hand. “Come back to me when you can, Lance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOS READY FOR SOME SHIRO POV
> 
> Im sorry this one is shorter than usual, but the next one is gonna be super long.


	13. Things We Remember

The first thing Shiro had thought when he had first saw Lance was that he was beautiful.

“You did not.” Lance was blushing, his markings faintly glowing pink. 

“I did.” Shiro carded his fingers through Lance’s hair. “I still do.” 

Shiro kissed him then, his hand cupping the back of Lance’s skull as he pressed their lips together. 

Lance didn't go back to Lotor that night.

 

\----

 

“Tell me about Altea.”

It was whispered in the dark cell as hands wandered across naked skin. 

“I don’t remember much.”

“Tell me what you do remember.” 

Shiro could see a faint smile on Lance’s lips in the dark. 

“There were forests. There were so many trees and plants and they were so, so green. And the oceans were the brightest blues, Shiro. I used to play along the shores when I was little--father wouldn't let me go in the waters without Allura. He said that the waters were dangerous without another with you.”

“You lived by the ocean?” 

Shiro loved Lance’s smile, and if he could bottle it up and keep it all to himself he would. 

Lance hummed. 

“Where I lived, I was lucky if I even got rain.” It was a passing thought, but Shiro still voiced it.

He could see Lance cocking his head, his bangs falling across his forehead.

“Rain?” 

Shiro blinked, having not realized that Lance probably didn’t know what rain was. “It’s, you know--it falls from the sky--”

“Do you mean snow?” 

Shiro shook his head. “No, it’s liquid. It’s liquid water.” 

“Water falls from the sky? That’s odd.” Lance mumbled it, his breath ghosting along Shiro's neck as he laid his head down onto Shiro’s chest. “I’d like to see it though.”

“I can take you.”

Lance smiled, but nothing more was said.

 

\--

 

“Keith and I aren't really brothers.” 

To this day Shiro couldn’t tell you why he said this. Lance was tending to his shoulder after his arm had been dislocated during his fight, and he had blurted it out when Lance pushed his joints back into place.

“I mean, we are, but we’re not blood related. We’re not like you and Allura.” Shiro was quick to explain himself at the pause of Lances movements. “I was adopted when Keith was two years old.” 

“Is…” Lance paused as he mumbled words in Altean, struggling to translate the distinctly English words. “Is taking in children that are not your own a common thing?” 

Shiro flexed his arm to see if he could still move the muscles. “There's a whole system for it-- it's a shitty system, but it's there.” 

Shiro pushed creeping thoughts out of his mind before they could become anything more than creeping. 

“On Altea, if a child was without a mother or father or another family member, they were left to the streets.” The words came slowly from Lance’s lips. The sounded heavy, like he didn't want to speak them. “We may be a peaceful race, but strength and independency is-- was important to my people. If a child cannot support itself, it was not worthy of life. We’re like the Galra in that way, I suppose.” 

“That's--that's horrible.”

Lance gave Shiro a strained smile as he went about wrapping his arm and shoulder. “We were friends with the Galra long before we were enemies. We picked up things from them, just as they picked up things from us.”

“Still, that's--”

“Allura and I would give the children food when we could, but there was never anything more we could do.” 

Shiro’s mouth snapped shut when Lance cut him off. He sat in silence for a moment, letting Lance finish his makeshift sling.

“I guess it's really not that much different than what we do.” Shiro mumbled it, and the more he thought about it the more he realized how similar Altea and Earth was in that regard. “If adults and the elderly can't support themselves, we leave them on the street. We’ll give them food and money if we're generous enough, but--” 

“The universe has many faults that we can't fix.” Lance scooted to Shiro’s side, bringing his hand up to rest against Shiro’s cheek. 

Shiro closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, leaning into Lance’s touch. 

“Yeah, it does.” 

 

\--

 

The first time Shiro had called Lance ‘angel’ had been an accident. 

But the flush on the tips of Lance’s ears made the second time on purpose. 

The third and fourth time, and every other time after that, were because Shiro wanted too.

 

\--

 

The sword felt heavy in Shiro’s hand. 

It didn’t matter how many times he picked it up. It always felt heavy, and he always struggled to keep a grip on the hilt. 

He kept his eyes on the door on the opposite side of the arena. He always did. He hated to look at Lance before the matches started, hated to see the fear and worry on his face, to see the hint of disgust in those ever color changing eyes, to see Lotor by Lances side, his hand in a possessive grip on Lance’s hip.

So Shiro never looked, so he would never have to see. 

He snapped back to attention when he heard the rattle of the gate opening. He stood still as it slowly rolled open, and as soon as his opponent stepped into the ring Shiro raised his sword. 

He did not charge, waiting for his opponent to make the first move.

Shiro remembered the times where the blood splattering across his skin made him heave and choke and cry. He remembered how Lance would hold him and run his fingers through his hair, whispering that everything would be okay as he cleaned Shiro of the blood and sweat and grime. Neither of them had ever thought everything would be okay, but still they had hoped.

He remembers the first time. He had thrown up what little had been in his stomach as Lance came running into the room. Lance had held him close as he screamed and sobbed, hating how the blood still stained his hands. When Shiro had exhausted his tears Lance had slowly wiped the blood away, telling Shiro that he had to survive, that he would never judge him for what he had to do. 

He said these things, all while blinking back his own tears. 

Now—now Shiro pushed those thoughts away. Now he thought of nothing while in the ring, holding back his emotions till he couldn’t. Then he would choke and sob, wishing Lance were there to whisper lies to him in the strange comfort of his cell. 

Shiro hardly realized that he had thrust the sword into his opponent's sternum, the splintering of bone echoing in his ears and the blood warm on his hands. 

 

\--

 

It was frantic. It was always frantic.

Their lips met with a flair of pain, the cut on Shiro’s lip stinging as he pulled Lance close a little too quickly. 

He dug in fingers into Lance’s scalp, hating the way the blood smeared into the white strands. But he didn’t pull away, because Lance had climbed into his lap and was clutching his shoulders hard enough to leave bruises. Lance was keeping him close, kissing him like he would never get to again. 

Shiro couldn’t help but think that he might not-- that this might be their last time together. 

“Stop thinking,” Lance mumbled against Shiro’s lips. 

And Shiro did. 

He kissed Lance again, grinding his hips up to meet Lance’s erratic thrusts. Lance’s hands tangled in Shiro’s hair while Shiro’s hands went to Lance’s hips. 

Shiro kissed and bit and sucked, wishing that things didn’t have to be this fast. 

He wished that he could hold Lance close and let his hands wander and explore. He wished that he could map out his body and memorize every dip and curve. He wished that he could kiss softer and give gentler touches, could love Lance more, could worship him the way he deserved. 

He wished that they had more time. 

 

\--

 

Sometimes Lance would come in with bruises around his wrists and a necklace of fingerprints decorating his neck and cuts on his lips.

Shiro would ask if he was alright, and Lance would smile and say he was fine.

They both knew he was lying.

 

\--

 

“So what Lion did you pilot?” 

Shiro had been half asleep when he asked the question. 

Lance had finished another story about his days as a Paladin of Voltron. Shiro had asked him to tell it. He loved the adventures and battles, he loved the way Lance would tell the story, and he loved the soft voice and the deep rumble he felt when he placed his head on Lance’s chest. 

“The Blue Lion.”

Shiro hummed, closing his eyes. “That’s good. Blue is a good color on you.” 

 

\--

 

When Shiro had woken to his new arm, he had panicked. 

He had panicked until Lance came, and he still panicked after. He panicked until he couldn’t anymore, and when he had finally calmed down Lance had been there to hold him. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” Shiro couldn't look away from his arm, and he was struggling to keep his eyes open. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Yes it was.” Lance’s voice was hardly a whisper. “If I hadn’t--”

“Don’t. Don’t say it.” Shiro turned to look at Lance. “I would never have met you if you hadn't come to my cell. I would never have--” Shiro choked on his words. “I would never have--”

Lance gave him a sad smile, and then Shiro’s eyes were sliding shut as he drifted into a restless sleep.

 

\--

 

“You’re not coming with me, are you?”

An unearthly purple lighting filled the halls and framed Lance’s face in a soft glow as he looked away.

“No.” 

Shiro had known. Every time he would talk of leaving Lance would smile and look away. The last night they spent together Lance had said nothing when Shiro spoke of them escaping together. The last months they had spent separated, when discussing the escape route through Thace only the use of one escape pod was ever brought up. When Lance met him and Thace in the hanger a few moments ago he hadn’t looked at Shrio, hadn’t gotten closer unless Shiro did. 

Shiro had always known Lance wasn’t coming with him, but it still was a breathless hit to his chest. 

“I’m needed here, Shiro.” 

Shiro almost didn't believe him. “I need you.” 

Lance looked back up at him with a sad smile. Shiro finally noticed the bruised cheek and split lip that the dark lighting had been hiding. “No you don’t.” 

“Lance--” 

“Go.” Lance’s hands cupped Shiro’s cheeks and his lips brushed Shiro’s lips for the briefest of moments. “Save the universe, my Starlight.” 

Shiro wanted to hold on, but Thace was pulling him away as the sounds of alarms sounded. Shiro struggled against him, but when he heard shouts and screams and phaser blasters he went limp, letting Thace guide him to the escape pods. 

“I’ll come back for you.” And overwhelming sadness swept over him, and he wanted to reach out and press one last kiss against Lance’s skin. “Lance--I love you--”

He saw Lance mouth something to him as the door to the pod closed. 

He saw Lance give a smile, and then guards were swarming the hanger, and he saw Lotor one last time before he was shot into space. 

He saw the stars for the first time in months, and then the pressure changes became to much and he blacked out. 

 

\--

 

When Shiro finally woke, it was to Keith’s dusty shack, dry desert air, too bright sunlight, worried faces of people he hardly remembered, and Lance gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my crust im so sorry for the huge gap between updates college has been killing me and when finals were done i just needed to crash


	14. Home

Shiro didn’t know what to tell them, so he lied and said he didn’t remember. 

He didn’t know how to tell Keith that he had exchanged lives for his own, that his hands were coated in blood. That he had been immersed in an alien culture and language for so long that he hardly remembered his own. 

He didn’t know how to tell Pidge that their brother was safe, that he had watched him escape during the prison break. That he had hurt Matt to keep him safe. 

He didn’t know what to say to Hunk, because he had only known him the weeks before the Krobos mission, when Keith had brought him over and said he was a friend. 

He didn’t know how to tell them he was a Paladin, a murderer, a savior, a man who had fallen in love.

Shiro didn’t know how to tell them, so he lied and swallowed down the acrid tasting guilt. 

Now he sat on the only bed in Keith’s little shack, giving his brother a strained smile.

“If I remember anything, you’ll be the first to know.” 

Keith didn’t look convinced. “Shiro—“

“Keith, please, I—“ Shiro closed his eyes. “I’m tired.”

He wasn’t, but Shiro couldn’t stand to look at Keith’s concerned face any longer. Not when his lies were causing it. 

“Right. I’ll just—“ Keith moved towards the doorway, pushing the curtain up just enough to slip through. “If you need anything—“ 

“I’ll come get you. I promise.” 

Keith looked at him for a moment longer. “I’m just worried, Shiro.” 

“I know.” Shiro looked down, clasping his hands together. “I’ll be fine Keith. I just—I just need some time to adjust.” 

Keith still didn’t look convinced, but after a moment of hesitation he left. 

Shiro watched the curtain fall back into place, then he fell back on the bed, slinging his arm across his eyes. He hadn’t realized how light sensitive he had become until he had screwed his eyes shut after he finally woke up. He hadn’t been able to open them until Keith closed the blinds. 

He could keep his eyes open now, but there was still a dull ache in his head. 

Shiro frowned at the thought. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been here. It had always been difficult to tell time on the ship, even with Lance telling him. He had known what day it was when he left, but since then he had been in and out of consciousness for what felt like weeks, and his internal clock was screwed to hell and back. 

Shiro sat back up and launched himself off the bed and peeled the curtain back.

Pidge was nowhere to be seen, but Hunk and Keith were on the couch, sitting just a bit too close for friends.

Normally Shiro would delight in teasing his brother. But he was so set on knowing the time that the thought didn’t even cross his mind. 

It didn’t matter anyway. As soon as Shiro stepped out from the little bedroom Keith jumped back. 

“Shiro—“

“How long have I been here?” It took a moment for Shiro to piece the words together. 

Keith blinked at him, his face still red from his blush. “It’s been two weeks.” 

Shiro sucked in a breath. He knew he had woken up three days ago, but he hadn’t realized—

“Fuck.” He spat out the word without much thought.

“Shiro, are you okay?”

“I—“ Shiro couldn’t find the words. He had been speaking solely in Galran for the past few months, and it was hard for him to remember English and the Japanese that both he and Keith spoke. He wouldn’t even know what to say if he did find the words. “I’m fine.” 

He walked out the door before anyone could even think to stop him. 

He didn’t go very far. He took a seat on one of the hills that overlooked the canyon, crossing his legs and leaning back on his hands. The air was so dry, and after months of being in damp and musty and recycled air Shiro hated the desert wind as much as he loved it. 

Before too long his throat was dry, and he was struggling to hold back his coughs. 

“Here.”

Shiro looked up. Hunk was holding a water bottle out to him, and Shiro must have looked surprised enough for Hunk to gently press it into his hands. 

“I figured you would need it.” Hunk sat down next to him, keeping a safe distance between them. “I grew up in Hawaii. The air here took a little getting used to for me too.” 

He said it without prompt, working around the unspoken tension on Shiro with ease. 

Shiro gave a small smile. He took a sip from the bottle, grimacing at the taste. Hunk didn’t look as Shiro forced himself to finish it, but he kept up a steady stream of small talk. He talked about Hawaii and his family, and—to Shiro’s utter delight—Keith and Pidge and their time at the Garrison. 

Eventually Hunk fell silent and Shiro set the empty bottle in the sand. 

“It’s—it’s the little things.“ Shiro looked down at his hand, curling his fingers so the metal gleamed in the sunlight. “The food tastes off, the sun is too bright, the gravity is so—it’s less, than what is was there.” 

Hunk cocked the head. “The what?”

Shiro flushed. He had said the last bit in mixed Galran and English without even realizing it. 

“You know, the—“ he waved his hand, scowling when he couldn’t come up the the English or the Japanese. “The thing that keeps you on Earth.” 

“Gravity?”

“Yeah, that.” Shiro tugged his knees to his chest. “It’s—it’s too little here. Like there’s not enough.” 

Hunk hummed. “I don’t know, I think it would be kinda cool. Kinda like you had gone to the moon.”

Shiro huffed. He had gone to the moon, and Hunk wasn’t completely wrong. “Yeah, but I’m tripping a lot more.” 

Just that morning Shiro had slammed his shoulder into the wall and took a rather ungrateful fall to the floor. Pidge had been the one to witness it, and Pidge had seen him fall so often it wasn’t as embarrassing as it could have been. They had let Shiro lay there for several minutes before laughing and whipping out their phone to take a picture. 

It had been so wonderfully normal that Shiro couldn’t even be mad. 

“Well, we all trip every once in awhile.” Hunk gave a shrug. “I saw Keith trip over his own bag and slam his head into the back of the couch a week ago.” 

Shiro could see that. He had to take Keith to the emergency room a few years back because of a similar fall. 

“He’s just worried about you, ya know?” Hunk’s voice dropped to a soft tone. “His brother went missing a year ago, and for him to suddenly come back—“

“I know, but I just—I don’t want him to make a big deal about it. I want—I want to go back to normal—“ No, that wasn’t quite right. “I want that normalcy, but I—it feels too strange. Like it’s not right. I should still be—“

Shiro clammed up. He had said way too much. 

“Hey.” Hunk held out a hand, and when Shiro didn’t flinch back he gently placed it on his shoulder. “I’m not going to make you talk about it, but I am here if you need to.” 

Hunk was giving him such a soft smile that Shiro had to look away. 

“I don’t want you to know the things I had to do to—to stay alive. I became someone else up there, and you don’t—Keith shouldn’t have to know that.” 

“It’s your story, Shiro. You don’t have to tell it if you don’t want to.” Hunk took his hand back. “We should probably go back inside before Keith calls the Calvary in to get us.” 

Shiro hummed. Hunk stood and held out a hand to him, and Shiro took it. He was pulled to his feet, and they slowly made their way back to the house. When they walked in the door Keith opened his mouth to say something, but a look from Hunk and a smack from Pidge silenced him before he could even get his words out. Shiro looked away rather quickly, shuffling on into the kitchen as Hunk veered off towards Keith. 

Shiro wasn’t entirely sure why he went to the kitchen. He wasn’t eating much, and what he was eating he could hardly keep down. 

“There’s some cereal, if you’re hungry.” Keith called. 

Shiro fished around in the cabinets. He wasn’t finding much. “Is cereal all you have?” 

He could hear Keith shuffling around while Pidge laughed.

“Please tell me this isn’t all you eat.” Shiro pulled a box out, shaking it before putting it back. 

“Hunk brings me food.” Keith’s voice was oddly quiet, and Shiro would absolutely tease Keith about it, but—

“What’s that?” He left the kitchen in favor of drifting closer to a cork board that had a very familiar wave pattern tacked on among all the red strings and newspaper articles. Shiro would have teased Keith about this too, if he wasn’t so distracted. 

“Oh, that’s just some energy signatures we’ve been mapping,” Hunk answered for him. 

Shiro let his fingers travel along the sharp dips and lines. He wondered how he never noticed this before. “Where at?”

“Out by the cliffs. We’re not exactly sure where yet.” 

Shiro’s fingers trailed along the rest of the board before falling back to his side. “Can you take me there?”

He turned around to see Keith blinking slowly at him. “Yeah, but why?” 

Hunk was looking at him strangely too. Pidge wasn’t paying too much attention, but they had looked up from their phone. Shiro swallowed, and he tasted something sour.

“I’m a scientist at heart, Keith. I wanna see what changed while I was gone.” 

The lie sounded weak, even to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE IM NOT DEAD
> 
> College just decided to get a hell of a lot harder and I have had no free time what so ever 
> 
> Also, this is being updated via phone because my laptop is being a little bitch, so I apologize for any mistakes


	15. The Blue Lion

Keith managed to convince Shiro to wait till tomorrow. 

Shiro wasn’t too pleased about it, but in the end he had been vetoed, so he went to bed and stared at the stars from the window. They were different from the ones he had grown used to seeing, and he couldn’t help but wonder if Lance was seeing these same stars. He felt a pang of sadness at the thought. 

Shiro had left Lance so suddenly, leaving him up there, alone—

Shiro threw the covers off and tugged a shirt on over his head before wandering out to the living room. He tiptoed around Keith and Hunk, who were sleeping on the couch, slipped on a pair of shoes and slid out the door and quietly as he could. 

He was surprised to find Pidge sitting on the porch steps. 

“Hey.” Shiro sat down, angling his body towards Pidge’s. “What are you doing out here?”

“Waiting,” Pidge said softly. 

They didn’t take their eyes off the sky. Shiro looked up, the stars seeming to be so much brighter when he wasn’t looking at them through a window. 

It was strange, how still they were. 

“I keep waiting for them to come back.” Pidge looked back at Shiro. “You came back, so they should too, right?” 

Shiro swallowed around a lump in his throat. He had seen Matt escape with a few freedom fighters Lance had brought in during the prison break, but he had seen nothing of Sam. He had only known he was alive because of Lance, but now he had no idea. 

“I don’t know, Pidge,” he said softly. “I would like to think so.”

He knew they weren’t coming back. Not anytime soon.

The lie burned the back of his throat as he swallowed it down. 

“I’m glad you’re back.” Pidge leaned into Shiro’s side, and Shiro wrapped his arm around their shoulders. They stayed like that until Pidge drifted off to sleep, and Shiro carried them inside and set them on the bed, pulling the blankets up around their shoulders. He gently took Pidge’s glasses of, setting them on the table as he closed the curtains. Then he wandered back outside, sitting back down on the porch. 

It was strange too, how hard it was to sleep without lights. 

—

“Have these caves always been here?” 

They had taken Keith’s bike over to the cliffs—Shiro had been skeptical that they would all fit—and now they stood in front of a cave opening that no one really remembered being there. 

“I think so.” Keith took a slow step forward. “I’ve never been out this far, but—“

“It’s not that weird for caves to be here,” Pidge finished for him. “It’s a cliff. Caves are in cliffs.” 

Shiro was quick to tune out the oncoming bickering, but he still paid enough attention in case he needed to intervene. Pidge and Keith hadn’t gotten into any physical fights since they were little, but Shiro had to break up enough that he was always weary when they started bickering. 

Matt had never bothered to step in. He would always laugh and pull out his phone while Shiro hauled Keith over his shoulder, recording the entire thing. Occasionally he would he would chide Pidge when they were in the wrong, but more often than not he would tell Keith to put on some more weight so he would stop losing to Pidge. 

“—or we could just go in?” 

Shiro blinked. 

Hunk had one hand on Keith’s shoulder and was gesturing to the cave entrance with the other. “Instead of, ya know, arguing about rock density.” 

“I’m just saying—“ 

“And I’m just saying get your butt in there.”

Keith shut his mouth and looked away, and neither Shiro nor Pidge missed the red tinge on his cheeks. 

“Play nice,” Shiro mumbled.

“I didn’t even say anything!”

Shiro raised his eyebrows at Pidge. 

“Fine.” Pidge huffed, falling into step behind Keith and Hunk. “I will. For now.” 

Shiro rolled his eyes, but he was just as curious as Pidge about Keith’s relationship with Hunk. He wasn’t gonna gang up on his brother, but—Shiro couldn’t even remember the last time Keith liked anyone. 

To say he was a little curious would be an understatement. 

“Can I come with you when you talk to him?”

“No.” Shiro pushed Pidge along as he brought up rear of their little group. 

Pidge pouted, but Shiro had years of experience of resisting. It didn’t work, and Pidge slapped Shiro’s arm in retaliation before following Keith and Hunk into the cave. 

It was thrumming with quintessence. Shiro stumbled back at how strong it was. 

“Are you alright?” Keith looked back at the noise Shiro made, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Yeah—Yeah, i'm fine.” 

Shiro pushed himself into the cave. 

The quintessence was strong, but it didn’t feel quite right. Like it wasn’t meant for him. And it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. Shiro was trying to push his way into something that wasn't his, and it felt so _wrong._

“Just let me find you, please,” Shiro whispered it as he ran his fingers along the stone walls. “For him.” 

The thrumming flared once, and then it was gone. 

_No no no no no wait—_

“Shiro?” 

Shiro’s head snapped up. Everyone else had moved further into the cave, and Shiro was just standing there, eyes wide and his fingers splayed across the stone—

“The walls are dry,” he said bluntly, ignoring his voice crack. 

“Yeah, that is kinda weird.” Hunk pushed the conversation forward before anyone else could say something. “But we’re not very far in yet.” 

There was silence for a moment. 

“Let’s keep going.” Shiro took his hand off the wall. 

“Shiro, are you sure--”

“Keith. Please.” 

Shiro must have sounded desperate enough, because Keith dropped it. 

Hunk led the way, keeping a steadying hand on Keith’s shoulder. He really was rather clumsy, and climbing over all these rocks was doing nothing for Keith’s balance. Pidge stuck to the middle, and Shiro ignored all the looks Keith sent him, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground. He needed Blue to reach out again, and he couldn’t focus on the Lion if he kept meeting Keith’s eyes. 

They kept going in silence--for how long, Shiro didn't’ know. He was so engrossed in trying to coax Blue out again that he hardly realized time was even passing. He jumped when Pidge’s voice suddenly echoed off the walls.

“Can we go back now?” They turned back to look at Shiro. “We’ve been here for two hours, and we haven’t found what ever it is your looking for.” 

Shiro flushed.

“Pidge, come on.” Hunk frowned. 

Pidge looked ready to retort, but Shiro sushed them before they could. The quintessence flared up ever so slightly, but it was enough.

“This way.” Shiro broke off from the other three, and then--

Then he was falling. 

He struggled to grab onto something before he fell. The rock he snagged snapped off the wall, twisting his wrist in an odd direction. 

“Shiro!”

Keith yelled after him, but Shiro hardly heard him over the rush of water. Then he smacked into a small pool--it wasn’t even a pool, it was a _puddle_ \-- stomach first, and that--that hurt almost as much as getting stabbed with a sword. 

Shiro groaned. He could feel loose pebbles shuffling as he rolled over, the water splashing as he threw his arm out. A jolt went up his wrist, and Shiro just sighed. His wrist might be sprained, but nothing was broken. Shiro would consider that a small blessing, considering he had landed on solid rock. 

Shiro gave a breathy string of curses. 

“Shiro!” Keith came sliding down, wobbling a bit as he landed. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah--Yeah, I’m good.” He sat up, taking in a sharp breath as his muscles twinged in protest. 

That was gonna bruise. 

Hunk came down a moment after with Pidge on his shoulders. 

He let Pidge down. “Are you okay?”

Shiro waved them all off as he got to his feet. “I’m fine guys--”

He almost tacked on ‘I’ve gone through worse’, but he clamped his mouth shut. That would lead to questions he wasn’t nearly ready to answer yet, and ones he couldn’t answer. 

“Uh, guys?” 

Shiro turned to look where Pidge was pointing, and there she was. 

It was like everything Shiro had expected, and yet it was almost nothing like what he expected. 

“Holy shit,” Keith mumbled, letting his hand fall from Shiro’s shoulder. 

Shiro took careful steps forward, holding out his hand--his human hand--and letting it fall onto the field surrounding the Lion. A pulse shot up his arm, but he kept it still. 

“What the hell is that?” Pidge came a little closer, but still stayed a far distance away.

“What I’ve been looking for,” Shiro whispered it, but no one could hear over the rush of the waterfall. He swallowed around the dryness in his throat, and pushed ever so slightly on the field. “Hey, Blue.” 

The faintest of growls echoed in the cave. 

Shiro flinched, but didn’t back away. 

“I know that I’m not--” Shiro trailed off.

He had no idea what to say. It wasn’t like he could spew out words, not with the other three behind him, and Blue was already on guard. Shiro didn’t want to say the wrong thing and have her back out again. 

“Please,” Shiro said softly. 

The entirety of the cave seemed to hold its breath. Then it let out a sigh and then tension left Shiro’s shoulders as the field slowly faded away. 

“Are you just gonna--yeah, you’re just gonna walk in.” 

Shiro hardly heard Hunk’s sigh as he swung up onto the still opening hanger doors. 

Lights flickered on when Shiro finally entered the lion. Control panels lit up and screens flashed to life, and Shiro stopped by the pilot's seat, momentarily surprised that he could make out some of the words flashing across the screens. 

_“The Galren alphabet is pretty similar to the Altean alphabet.”_

_“Really? But the dialect is so—so different.”_

_“Hmmm. Galren and Altean cultures and biology are very closely intertwined. We evolved from a similar species—the only real difference was they were more adapt to their desert environment, while we were more adapt to our oceans.”_

_“I guess that makes sense—you being biologically similar. Lotor wouldn’t have been able to be born otherwise.”_

_“Oh?”_

_“Yeah, you know—chromosomes and all that.”_

_“How do you know so much about biology?”_

_“I minored in it—“_

“Shiro?” 

Shiro blinked. Keith was hovering in front of him, his brows furrowed in concern. 

“Sorry, I—“ Shiro shook his head. “Lost in thought.” 

He brushed past Keith and went around the pilot's seat. He kept a hand on the back, not daring to sit until Blue gave him permission. There was a low hum in Shiro’s chest and the lights grew a little lighter. 

Shiro swallowed and sat, letting out a yelp as the chair was flung forward. 

_“Bring him home to us.”_

Then Blue was roaring to a start and they shot out of the cave in a tidal wave of water and dust. 

“Holy shit—“

Hunk was screaming somewhere to his right and Pidge off to his left, and Shiro scrambled to get ahold of the controls. He managed to stop them from crashing into the ground, but he couldn’t get a good enough hold to stop them from going into a series of loops. 

“Jesus Christ—SHIRO—“

“Just—give me a tick—“ Shiro banked a hard right, then pulled what he hoped was the break. 

They shot straight up. 

“Shiro What the hell are you doing!” Pidge had fallen into Shiro’s lap. Shiro didn’t feel too bad about shoving them off. 

“I’m trying to get her—“ 

There was the break. 

Hunk and Keith jerked forward while Pidge rolled into the control panel. Then they started free falling back to the ground, and Shiro pushed and pulled buttons and levers at random because he did not have time to try and read the Altean. 

Shiro gritted his teeth. “Come on, Blue, _work with me_ —“ 

They did one last loop before they finally evened out. 

“Holy shit!” Pidge sat up, rubbing the back of their head. “Shiro, What the actual fuck?” 

“Language,” Shiro chided without much real malice. The lion hummed in what sounded like laughter, and Shiro narrowed his eyes as he tried to get control of the steering back. 

“Shiro, seriously what the fuck?” Pidge hoisted themselves up.

“I—I don’t know, she just—she just took off.” Shiro pushed Pidge out of his face. “I couldn’t control it.” 

“You—“ Pidge groaned. “Can you fly it now?” 

“I—Maybe?” Shiro honestly didn’t know. 

“Please put us back down!” Hunk was clinging on to Keith. He was looking rather pale, and Shiro almost did, but—

_“You promised you would bring him back to me.”_

Blue all but screamed at Shiro, and then they were shooting back up into the sky.

“Jesus shit--” Keith was yelling this time, and Shiro managed to glance back to see Hunk and Keith holding onto each other before the pressure forced him to keep his head in once place. Pidge clutched onto Shiro’s arm as they broke through the clouds, then through the atmosphere, and then they were starting to rise from the floor before the artificial gravity kicked in. 

And then they were seeing stars. 

Shiro took a sharp breath. Everything seemed to click back into place, and for the first time since Kurboros he felt--he felt right. 

Blue shuddered as something slammed into her hull. 

“Oh my god ohmygodohmygod Shiro turn it back!” 

Shiro ignored Hunk. The view screens lit up to show the space in front of him, and the quickly approaching Galra ship. 

“Shit.” Lance had told him he had two weeks at the most, but Shiro had been out of it for most of that time. “God fucking damnit!” 

Shiro banked left. Hard. 

“Shiro, turn us around!” 

“I can’t!” Shiro could. He absolutely could, but he didn't want to. He couldn’t bring himself to. “I lost control again!”

His throat burned as he swallowed the half truth. Blue groaned and the lights flickered as she took another hit.

“Oh my god we’re gonna die!” Hunk was screaming again. 

Shiro clenched his jaw. He tried to push Blue forward, but he had lost control again. Blue let out a pained roar, and she tried to go towards the Galran ship. Just as suddenly she stopped, and she let out such a heartbreaking moan before taking a wide berth around the ship.

Then Shiro remembered. Lance was still on that ship. 

“No, wait, we can--”

But Blue only went faster, using the last little bit of Lance’s quintessence she still had to open a wormhole. 

Then the ship was gone. 

“...Shiro?”

Shiro blinked slowly. Lance was right there, they could have--

“Shiro, where are we going?” 

He looked down at Pidge, then to Keith and Hunk. They were staring at him with wide eyes, a slight tremble to their hands as they waited for an answer. 

“She’s going home.” 

Shiro’s voice cracked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidently made heith a thing hope you're okay with that. And because this is rated M Shiro can say fuck as many times as he wants
> 
> YA BOI IS STILL ALIVE
> 
> midterms just snuck up on me, but now I'm on spring break and I got mostly everything out of the way, so hopefully we'll get on a more normal updating schedule. 
> 
> ((I probably should have watched the actual episode before I wrote this))((and I still need to watch season 5, so no spoilers please. although I've heard we've gotten some quality shance scenes))


	16. Paladins

Shiro sat on the floor of the cockpit, away from Keith and Hunk and Pidge. He had chalked it up to needing some space, and Keith looked like he believed it even less than Shiro did. Still Hunk had pulled the two of them away, leaving Shiro to stew in his own thoughts for some time. 

But then Keith had finally migrated over to him, and Shiro knew his brother would start asking him questions he didn’t want to answer, so before Keith could say anything Shiro blurted out a question of his own.

“So, Hunk, huh?”

Shiro didn’t think he had ever seen Keith’s face go that red. 

“It’s not--It’s not like that! We’re just friends.”

Shiro hummed, giving Keith that look. “Sure. Like Matt and I were _just friends_.” 

“We are!” Keith clammed up, and Shiro couldn’t help the little laugh that left his mouth. 

“You should tell him, Keith.” 

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Keith scoffed. “Hi Hunk! Did you know I’ve had a massive crush on you since we first met, but I had no idea how to tell you and now I’d really like to mash my face against yours.” 

Shiro snorted. “You could say it a bit more eloquently.” 

“Shiro—!” 

Shiro laughed as Keith smacked his shoulder, but before Keith’s aggressions could go much further Pidge broke it off. 

“Guys.” They raised their eyebrows at the two, then gestured towards the view screen. Shiro followed where Pidge was looking, his own eyes widening. 

Keith got up, moving to the view screen. “It looks like Earth.” 

It did. It really did, and Blue was headed right for it. 

 

\--

 

“Shiro don’t—“

He could hear Keith’s groan as he stepped out of the lion. 

“--We don’t know what in the air.” Keith finished lamely. 

Shiro probably should have been a little more hesitant before he jumped out onto the planet’s soil. But Shiro knew that Altea had a very similar atmosphere to Earth, so who ever had survived Zarkon’s attack would have found a very similar planet. 

If anyone survived. Lance had always seemed so certain that no one had. 

“I’m sure it’s fine.” Shiro was already making his way towards the castle. 

“For being the Garrison’s best, he sure is an idiot.” 

“You did the same thing, Pidge.”

Shiro glanced back to see Pidge and Keith staring each other down. Hunk stepped between them, so Shiro turned his attention back to the door. He was only a few inches away from it, but he had no idea how to even go about opening it. 

Blue had that figured out for him, however, and she let out an ear piercing roar.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Keith yelled.

Hunk and Pidge screamed. Hunk hid behind Keith as Blue stretched back on her haunches, and then she laid down. She crossed her paws and flicked her tail, but outside of that she didn't move. 

Pidge poked their head out from behind Keith. “What was that?” 

Shiro was just as confused as the rest of them. “I don’t--”

He cut himself off as the door slowly started to screech open. He turned back around and watched, taking a step back once the doors fully opened. 

“Do we go in?” 

In response to Hunk's quesion Shiro walked in. 

“I actually hate your brother.” Hunk mumbled.

“He’s not usually like this.” Shiro could hear Keith jogging to catch up. “I have no idea what’s going on with him.” 

Shiro felt a twinge of guilt. He could tell them about Voltron now, tell them that he was chosen to help save the universe, tell them that's why they were here. But with that came a whole slew of questions Shiro didn’t want to and couldn’t answer. 

So Shiro kept silent and continued walking. 

Lights flickered on as they went down the halls. They cast a soft blue glow to the walls and their skin, giving the whole thing a rather ethereal look. Shiro ran his fingers along the wall--it was cold, which he supposed wasn’t all that surprising--letting his hand fall back to his side when they reached a large circular room. 

The lights flared on all at once, and Shiro threw his hand up to shield his eyes. 

“Whoa--” Keith breathed out slowly, his hand ghosting along one of the capsules along the walls. 

Then the capsule started to dissolve. 

Keith jumped back as Shiro jumped forward. He caught whoever it was that was falling out, holding her around her waist as she weakly gripped his shoulders. She looked up and blinked groggily, and Shiro felt the air catch in his lungs. 

“Are you Allura?”

Shiro choked it out, shifting his arms slightly to hold her better.

“I--yes, who—“ she snapped back and ripped herself away from him, and Shiro wasn’t nearly fast enough to dodge the hit she threw at him. “Who are you? Where’s my father?” 

Shiro grunted as she twisted his arm behind his back. 

“Whoa, hold on—“ 

Shiro could hear Keith start to move, and the last thing he wanted was Keith and Allura to start fighting.

“We came with the Blue Lion!” Shiro blurted it out without really thinking, but it got Keith to back down and Allura to loosen her grip. 

“The Blue—“ she looked around with wide eyes. Shiro managed to slip from her hands, but Allura hardly noticed. She kept looking at their little group, her hands falling back to her sides, blinking slowly as she drug her eyes off of them. She looked around the room, her eyes finally settling on the door. 

Shiro watched her, and with a pang he realized she was waiting for Lance to walk through that door. 

“Allura—“

“Show me.” She looked back at Shiro. “Show me the lion.” 

Shiro nodded slowly. 

“Shiro--”

“We’ll be right back, Keith.” Shiro gave him a small smile. “Promise.” 

Shiro walked away before Keith had a chance to argue. Allura was already in the hall so Shiro had to jog to catch up. 

Blue didn’t move when they reached her, and she made no sign of even trying. She looked at them with blank eyes, her body held completely still. 

Allura stared for a long time. 

Shiro watched her, flinching back when she clenched her jaw.

“Stupid--” she mumbled, her fingers curling around the fabric of her dress. “--I don’t know why I thought he--” 

She took a deep breath, then rounded back on Shiro. 

“It was only the four of you with the Blue Lion, yes?” 

Shiro nodded. 

Allura’s knuckles were white. She ground her teeth, her eyes locking with Blue’s for a moment longer before she swiftly turned on her heel. She marched back into the castle, sweeping into the main room with such a vigor that Shiro couldn’t help but shrink back. 

Then she stopped, her entire body sinking. 

“Princess!” There was a man next to Hunk—Coran, Shiro assumed. He brushed past Hunk, rushing to Allura. “They said they came with the Blue Lion—“

“He’s not here.” 

Coran's face fell. “I—no, I don’t suppose he would be, would he?” 

Allura’s lip trembled, and Shiro looked away as she fell into Coran’s arms.

“How long has it been, Coran?”

“Ten thousand years.” 

_“What If your sister is alive?”_

_Lance looked up at Shiro. He stared, then dropped his head and looked back at the dirt he was dragging his fingers through. “She’s not.”_

_“But what if she is?” Shiro pressed, dropping his hands on top of Lances. “What If your father used the cyropods—“_

_“If my father used the cyropod, who would be there to wake her up?”_

_“Lance—“_

_“And even if she was alive, she can’t know I’m alive.” Lance swallowed. “It would put the entire Blade at risk, and Allura—she wouldn’t—she would stop at nothing to get me back. She would get herself killed, and I can’t—“_

_Lances breath caught._

_“She’s not alive anyway.”_

But she was. 

She was alive, and Lance was alive, and Shiro couldn’t tell either of them because it would put too many peoples lives in danger. 

“Who are you?”

Shiro snapped out of his thoughts. Allura was looking at him, her gaze narrow and eyes hard. 

She looked so much like Lance. They were both worn and ragged and tough, but Allura wasn’t as soft as Lance was. She was much more hardened around the edges, but Shiro supposed that was because she never really had the support that Lance did. Allura was tasked with running an entire kingdom alone, while Lance had other Paladins to help make decisions and were there as a support system. 

“I’m Shiro, and that’s Keith, Pidge and Hunk.” Shiro pointed to each of them in turn. “We’re from Earth.” 

“Earth?” Allura blinked slowly. She turned to Coran, but he looked just as confused as she did. She waved her hand, and suddenly the room was filled with stars and galaxies. Allura ignored their gasps of surprise as she zoomed in on the map, spinning and turning it till she found Earth. 

She didn’t call it Earth. She mumbled something that was familiar to Shiro--an Altean word that he could roughly translate to ‘poison air’. 

“You’ve traveled a long way from home.” Coran mused.

“That Lion brought us here.” Keith grumbled. “We had no say in the matter.” 

“Then you must be Voltron’s paladins. Blue wouldn’t have brought you here otherwise.” Allura glanced at Keith for a brief moment. “You must be the Red Paladin. You’re certainly temperamental enough.” 

Keith bristled. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“It means nothing Keith. You’re impulsive, but…” Shiro trailed off. Both Allura and Keith were looking at him strangely. “...I--forget I said anything.” 

Allura went back to her map, her breath hitching as she closed her eyes. Much of the stars and galaxies were red--were Galaran territory. It was heartbreaking to see, and Shiro could only imagine what Allura must be feeling. She had failed all these people both she and Lance had promised to protect, and Shiro couldn’t even begin to wonder what that must fell like. 

“We’ll fix this, Allura,” Coran let a hand fall on Allura’s shoulder. “We won’t let them down. Not again.”

Allura took a deep breath. “By the goddess, I hope we don’t.” 

Coran gave her shoulder a squeeze before letting go.

“Hunk,” Allura opened her eyes, turning to face Hunk. “That is your name, yes?’

Hunk swallowed and nodded. 

“You’re strong and intelligent and brave. But you’re also kind and gentle. You’re a pillar in your relationships, the one who keeps them strong. You are the Yellow Paladin.” 

“I’m the what now?”

But Allura had already turned away. “Pidge, you’re smart and independent. You use you’re wits in battle instead of your strength, and you care so much for your loved ones and everything around you. You are the Green Paladin.” 

Pidge blinked slowly.

“Keith, as I’ve told you, you are the Red Paladin. You’re temperamental, impulsive--but you’re incredibly loyal. When used right, those assets will be your greatest strengths. The Blue--” Allura stopped. She swallowed, then turned back to Shiro. “You are their leader, Shiro. The one who keeps them together--you are the Black Paladin.”

“Right.” Shiro spoke softly. He had been told for the past five months he was to pilot the Black Lion, but actually hearing it from someone else was jarring. “Right, I--yeah.” 

“This is cool and all, but I don’t see these Lion’s were supposed to fly.” Pidge crossed their arms, looking at Allura with a cocked eyebrow. 

“King Alfor, Allura’s father, took the lions off planet before it was destroyed.” Coran was quick to explain. “But because Allura is able to feel quintessence, she will be able to find where they are.” 

All attention turned to Allura.

She was silent for a long time, then she opened her eyes again and spun her map, pointing to a Galra free sector. “The Green and Yellow Lions are in the Axeon sector, here and here.” She touched each planet, the hologram shuddering slightly around her skin. “The Red Lion is moving--I can’t quite pinpoint it’s location just yet. But we have the Blue Lion, and the Black Lion--”

“Is here in the castle,” Shiro mumbled it, shuffling around on his feet. Even if Lance hadn’t told him, he could still feel the Lion’s quintessence--it had been getting stronger every since Shiro entered the castle. He couldn’t ignore it anymore. 

Shiro hadn’t at all been prepared for Allura to wrap her hand around his throat and throw him into the nearest wall.

“How do you know that?” Allura ignored Shiro’s choked off gasp, squeezing at his neck. “The only one who--”

“Whoa, hey!” Keith tried to pull Allura away, but she just knocked him back. 

Shiro swallowed. “I--I can’t tell you--”

“What do you mean you can’t tell me?”

“Too many people would be in danger if I told you.” Shiro managed to wiggle out of Allura’s grip, his own hands going to his neck before hers could. “I just--I can’t. You have to trust me.” 

Shiro could feel Keith and Pidge looking at him. 

Allura took a step forward. “You know much more than you’re letting everyone believe.”

Shiro didn’t deny it. 

“Shiro--what--” Keith started, but his voice fell flat. 

“If the Black Lion had not chosen you as her Paladin, I would have killed you.” Allura scowled, and Shiro didn’t doubt her. She looked at him for a moment longer before turning away. “Pidge and Coran will go find the Green Lion. Hunk, Keith, you will go for the Yellow Lion. I will stay here with Shiro and try and pinpoint the Red Lion.” 

Coran bustled Pidge along before they could get to Shiro, but Keith--

“What did she mean, Shiro? That you know more than what we think you do?” 

Shiro closed his eyes. “I can’t, Keith. I can’t tell you.” 

“Takashi--”

Shiro felt a stab in his heart at the use of his first name.

“You can’t push him, Keith.” Hunk spoke softly, placing a gentle hand on Keith’s shoulder. “He’ll tell you when he’s ready.” 

“Keith--I’m sorry--” Shiro’s voice cracked. 

Keith didn’t say anything. He looked at Shiro for a moment longer before turning away, storming off to where ever it was Pidge and Coran disappeared off too. 

“I’ll talk to him.” Hunk gave Shiro a soft smile before running after him. 

Shiro clenched his jaw, his entire body tensing with the motion. He was suprised it took him this long to screw up, but he couldn’t say anything. He had promised Lance he wouldn’t tell, that he would utter a single word about the Blade or Voltron or about Lance himself. 

And fuck Shiro if he wasn’t going to keep his promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM NOT DEAD
> 
> I'm not gonna lie I lost like, all motivation to work on this. I'm working on so many other things, which include (but are not limited to) some original work, hannigram, a super in depth buzzfeed unsolved thing that probably wont get posted anywhere, spirk, and some spideypool/superfamily/stucky/ironstrange. 
> 
> But then I went to jafax, cosplayed as Lance for a day and met a super hot Shiro (which you can check out here on my totally radical instagram--> https://www.instagram.com/snap_dragon_pop/) and all of my motivation was restored. 
> 
> I didn't rewatch this episode, so I'm probably totally off in Allura's descriptions of each Paladin. Also, sometimes my computer likes to stop spell checking things. I think I fixed all of my spelling errors, but if I have not, I apologize


	17. Search and Rescue

Lance rolled his wrist, wincing as it cracked and popped. It still felt tender from when Lotor had twisted it, and the bruising wasn’t looking like it was going to go down anytime soon. 

He didn’t even think Lotor realized how hard he had grabbed his wrist. Lotor had been furious when he found Lance; he hadn’t seemed to care how roughly he was handling Lance as he drug him back to the room, nor how rough he was the following week. Lance was still sore and bruised, and he had to wear high collared clothing to hide it. 

Still, Shiro had gotten away before Lotor came. He was safe, and Lotor couldn’t prove anything because Lance could easily claim innocence. 

Lotor seemed more inclined to believe it, if these past few days were anything to go by. 

“You can’t honestly think this is a good idea.”

Lance perked up at the voices coming from outside the bedroom door. 

“He’s been on this ship for too long, Ezor—“

“Yes, but taking him to the Red Lion?” 

Lance’s eyes widened. 

Lotor had the Red Lion? 

“These past two weeks have been—“ Lotor paused, and Lance could here shuffling outside of the door. “I haven’t been the best to him, and I want—I need to make it up to him.” 

“You coddle him too much, Lotor.”

Lance could almost see Ezor’s scowl. 

“Yes, well,” Lotor said something Lance couldn’t hear. He was about to climb off the bed to get a little closer, but then the door swung open, and Lotor was standing in the doorway with Ezor and Natari. 

“Hi,” Lance’s voice cracked. 

“Hi.” A gentle smile tugged at Lotor’s lips. “I’m guessing you heard that.” 

“I—yes.” 

Ezor at least had the grace to look guilty. 

Lance flinched back as Lotor held out his hand and stepped closer. Lotor was quick to pull back, but he held his hand back out, waiting for Lance to come to him. 

Lance made no move to do so. 

Lotor’s hand dropped back to his side. “I was hoping to surprise you.” 

“Oh, I’m surprised Alright.” Lance scowled, crossing his arms high over his chest. “You have the Red Lion. How can I not be surprised.” 

“We’re going to leave in a few hours.” Lance didn’t have time to pull away from Lotor, and he stiffened as he placed his palm on Lance’s cheek. “I just need you to stay here a little longer for me, darling.” 

Lance turned away, closing his eyes as Lotor’s fingers slid across his skin. He would not get sucked into these feelings again. He won’t. 

“Alright. I—I’ll wait for you.” 

Lotor pressed a soft kiss on Lance’s cheek—right over his markings. “I love you Lance, you know that, right?” 

Lance didn’t reply. He waited till Lotor left and the door clicked shut before opening his eyes, his lungs rattling as he took in a deep breath. 

 

—

 

Shiro was looking out the window of the castle, his chin resting in the palm of his hand. He was watching Allura as she stood by the Blue Lion, trying to coax her into letting Allura in. 

“Her brother was the Blue Paladin, you know.” 

Shiro jumped. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Coran was standing next to Shiro, hands clasped behind his back.

“No, that’s—that’s okay.” Shiro blinked slowly, then turned his gaze back to the window. “Her brother—?”

Coran hummed. “Lance was—he was the first of Voltrons Paladins to perish in Zarkon’s attack. Allura took it hard; she kept blaming herself and insisting that if she had been there she could have done something, or if she had married the Galran Prince instead none of this would had happened.” 

Coran paused for a moment. “We didn’t—we didn’t even have a body to bury.” 

Shiro’s eyes widened. He hadn’t know that Lance was the first—

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s Not your fault.” Coran smiled sadly. “You weren't even born when it happened. But for us It feels like no time has passed, and to know that after all these years that our war is still being fought, that Lance’s death was—“

Coran fell silent. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to dump this all on you.”

“No, no it’s okay.” Shiro spoke softly. “I understand needing someone to—someone to talk to. The least I can do is listen.” 

Coran blinked slowly. 

Shiro gave him a small smile, but before anything else could be said Pidge came bustling in. 

“Shiro!” They crashed into his side, almost sending the both of them crashing to the floor. Shiro managed to catch them before they fell, and Pidge climbed up into the window seat. “I flew a Lion!” 

Shiro grinned. “Pidge, that’s amazing!” 

“I know!”

They were smiling so wide, and Shiro listened with rapt attention as Pidge went into all the details they could stuff into their retelling of the story. Coran added details here and there, and when Pidge finished Shiro gave the softest smile he could.

“Matt and your dad would be so proud of you.” 

“You think so?” Pidge asked softly.

Shiro pulled them into a hug. “I know so.” 

Eventually Shiro let Pidge go, still keeping a steadying hand on their shoulder. A few moments later Allura came sweeping in. She looked at Shiro for a moment longer than Pidge, then let her eyes skip to Coran. 

“Have Keith and Hunk returned?”

“We’re right here.”

Shiro looked over Allura’s shoulder to see Keith and Hunk stumble in.

“Are you two alright?” Shiro shot up. He crossed the room to get to them, placing his hands on Keith’s shoulders as he looked him over. “What happened?”

“That unoccupied planet wasn’t so unoccupied.” Keith shot a glare at Allura before he pushed Shiro off. 

Shiro turned to Hunk, who blinked once at him before looking at Allura. “There were Galra there. They were mining something--i’m not sure what, but we managed to get the Yellow Lion without too much trouble.” 

“I’m so sorry--” something passed over Allura’s face that Shiro couldn’t quite recognize. Something like regret and--remorse? “If i had known--” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Hunk was quick to placiate her. “No one was hurt.” 

“You could have been.” Keith grumbled.

“Keith,” Hunk gave him a frown. Keith swallowed and looked away, shoving his hands in his pockets and kicking his leg back behind him. 

The room fell into an odd silence. Shiro looked between them all, startling when Coran broke it.

“Have you found the Red Lion, princess?”

“I have.” Allura looked relieved, and she quickly marched away from the little group. She went back to the center of the room, waving her hand to access the star map she had pulled up earlier. “Unfortunately, she is not in the easiest place to get to.”

Shiro blinked as the moving dot. “Is the Lion on a ship?”

“Yes. A Galra ship.” Allura looked pained. 

Keith was scowling. “You’re really going to send us to another--”

“Keith.” Shiro couldn’t quite stop the snappy tone that leaked into his voice. “We need the Red Lion, and we’ll do whatever we have to do to get it.” 

Keith looked furious. Shiro held his gaze, and eventually Keith looked away. Shiro stared at him for a little while longer before looking back to Allura. She herself was looking at Shiro--analyzing him. 

“What are we going to do, princess?” Shiro asked. 

Allura blinked slowly at him. Then she looked away, zooming in on the star map, her eyes flicking to Coran. 

 

—

 

“What the hell is going on with you?” It was a whispered hiss, Keith’s words meant only for Shiro. 

“Keith, I can’t—“

“Can’t, or won’t?” Keith had a hand on Shiro’s chest. He couldn’t feel it through the armor, but Keith was pushing hard enough to keep Shiro still. 

He, Keith and Pidge had split off in the Green Lion. Hunk and Allura had gone off in Yellow, and now the three of them were waiting for the go ahead from Coran to board the ship. 

Shiro was a little surprised it took Keith this long to corner him. 

Still, Shiro stayed silent.

“Shiro—Takashi, Please, Just—“ Keith’s voice cracked.

“Keith, I can’t.” Shiro swallowed. “I _won’t_. I’m not—I don’t want you to know what i did—“ 

“Takashi, I don’t care about that. I just want to know what’s going on with you.” 

Shiro closed his eyes. Half of the things he couldn’t talk about, and the other half he wouldn’t talk about and he didn’t know— 

“You have to give me time, Keith.” 

Keith’s fingers curled. The slipped across Shiro’s chest plate, but before Keith could say anything Coran’s voice chimed in through their coms.

“You three are all ready to go.” 

Shiro spared Keith another glance before slipping his viser all the way down. “Thanks, Coran.”

“Shiro—“

“We’ll talk later.” Shiro gave his brother a tight smile, then headed to the cockpit. 

Pidge’s eyes were focused on the view screen, pretending that they hadn’t heard the argument and raised voices. They looked up at Shiro as he came up behind them, blinking once before turning back to the view screen.

“We ready then?” Pidge asked.

“As ready as we’ll ever be.” 

Pidge nodded, then stood from their seat. The Green Lion rumbled beneath them, and Pidge ran their hand along the control board in comfort. 

Shiro patched back into the com. “Alright, Coran, we’re ready.”

 

\--

 

The room the Red Lion in was huge. A fitting tomb for a fallen warrior, Lance supposed.

Lotor had let Lance go as soon as they reached the ship. There were no words spoken, just gazes past between the two of them and a lingering stare as Lance walked away. He had been scared to turn back around, to see the expression on Lotor’s face. 

“Hey, girl.” Lance greeted softly. 

Red gave a soft rumble. Lance himself wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t so attuned to the lions. 

“Sorry I couldn’t come visit sooner. I didn’t--I didn’t know you were here until today.” Lance crossed the room. He couldn’t pass through the field around Red--he wasn’t expecting to--but he let his hand fall on the field before he slid to the ground. He closed his eyes, leaning back against the barrier. “It must be pretty lonely down here.” 

Nothing came from the Lion behind him.

“I’m sorry.” Lance whispered. “I never--I never meant for any of this to happen.”

A low buzz; a buzz that Lance felt in his chest.

Lance brought his knees to his chest, ducking his head down. “I would trade my life for theirs, if I could.” 

It was a whisper in the room, not meant to be heard by anyone.

 

\--

They had been making good progress, until Shiro slipped up. 

He had mentioned something about this being a cargo ship meant to house prisoners, and Pidge had stopped dead in their tracks. Pidge wanted to go look for them, to see if Matt and Sam were on the ship while Keith wanted to keep looking for the Lion. Shiro doubted Matt and Sam were here--this isn't even the same ship they had been prisoner on, but couldn’t get a word in edgewise. 

“Okay, just--stop!” Shiro stepped between Keith and Pidge. “I’ll go with Pidge. Keith, you keep looking for Red.”

Hunk wasn’t there to mediate, and Shiro had been gone for so long that he wasn’t entirely sure how to put a stop to Pidge’s and Keith’s arguments anymore. 

“What?” Keith stepped back. “Shiro, I don’t--”

“You’ll be able to feel her, I promise.” Shiro reached out and squeezed Keith’s shoulder before dropping his hand. “Patience yields focus, remember?” 

“Shiro, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Keith, I have to go with Pidge.” because he knew the layout, because he was in charge of PIdges safety, because of the guilt. 

Keith must have known that. But he only scowled, tightening his grip on the bayard he held before he took off in the opposite direction. 

Shiro and Keith were going to have to have a long talk when all this was over. 

“Right. Lets go.” 

Shiro kept behind Pidge as they went through the corridors. He gave as accurate directions as he could, but this ship was slightly different in design from the one he had been on. They ran into a few dead ends, and Shiro was about ready to call it quits before stopping dead in his tracks in front of a dark corridor. 

“Shiro?” Pidge looked back over their shoulder. 

“Down here.” Shiro waved them back. 

They stuck close to the wall, both of them jumping back as the huge cargo door slid open. Gasps came from inside the dark room, and then--

“It’s him!”

“The Champion!”

Shiro couldn’t help but wince. 

“Have you come back for us?”

“Has the Prince sent you?”

“What--no.” Pidge took a tentative step inside. Pidge glanced back at Shiro for a moment, confusion clear on their face, before looking back to the prisoners. “I’m looking for Matt and Sam Holt.” 

“We know no one by those names.” an elderly alien spoke. She was tall and a pale white--nearly translucent, with eyes that looked like they were full of stars. She looked at Pidge with sympathy, then looked to Shiro. They locked eyes, and Shiro couldn’t look away. It was like staring into another galaxy. “But he is here.” 

“Who?” Pidge asked. 

“He knows.” she answered. 

Pidge looked back at Shiro. “Shiro, who is she talking about?”

Shiro opened his mouth to reply, to say that he had no idea--and then it clicked.

“ _Lance_.” 

It was hardly more than a whisper, and as soon as the name passed Shiro’s lips he took off back down the corridor. 

 

\--

 

Lance was startled by a commotion coming from outside. He lifted his head and uncurled his body, pushing himself back to his feet. He hardly got halfway across the room before the door was throw open.

“Finally!” 

Lance hadn’t been expecting a boy to walk in. 

“ ‘ _You’ll be able to feel her_ ’. Bull fucking sh--” he paused, eyes widening dramatically when he noticed Lance. He raised his sword and fell back into a defensive stance. “Who are you?” 

“You’re the Red Paladin.” Lance’s own eyes widened, and he took a careful step forward. He took in the armor the boy was wearing--it was old and worn and scratched, but it was still Paladin armor. It was still the _Red Paladin_ armor. 

The boy’s stanced relaxed ever so slightly. “What’s it to you?” 

“If you’re here, then--” Lance’s head jerked up. “-- _Shiro_ \--”

“Will you just slow down for a second!?” 

The door was flung open, and Lance couldn’t stop the gasp that left his lips. 

Shiro was standing in the doorway. His chest was heaving, lips parted as he struggled to get air into his lungs. His eyes darted past the boy to land on Lance. He blinked once, and he started a slow walk towards Lance just as Lance swept past the boy to get to Shiro. 

“Shiro, what--”

The voice came from behind Lance, but neither him nor Shiro acknowledged it. They stopped a few feet away from each other, and Lance took a shaky breath as he reached out a hand to rest on the side of Shiro’s helmet.

“You came back.” 

Shiro gave a soft smile. He lifted his own hand, letting it rest over Lance’s. “I said I would, didn’t I?” 

Lance felt his lip tremble, and then he was throwing himself into Shiro’s arms and holding him as close as he possibly could. A strange croak left Shiro’s lips, and he dug his fingers in Lance’s hair and pushed their bodies together. The armor was cold, seeping through Lance’s clothes and chilling his skin, but he couldn’t care. He clung to Shiro, refusing to let go. 

They pulled apart enough for Shiro to look into Lance’s eyes, his hands sliding down to cup his cheeks, thumbs resting just below Lance’s markings. “He’s been hurting you.” 

“Shiro its--”

“Please, Lance--angel--” Lance flushed at the name. “Please don’t tell me its fine.” 

Lance looked down. “It's not--it’s mostly bruises, now.” 

“I’ll look at them when we get on the ship.”

“The ship? What--” Lance blinked. “Shiro, I can’t come with you--” 

“This is really sweet and all, but Shiro, we have to go.” the Red Paladin was scowling. At some point the barrier between him and the Lion had fallen, and the little one Shiro had been with had disappeared. “Pidge went back to their Lion and we need to get on mine before someone comes in here.” 

Shiro frowed, then looked back to Lance. “You have to come back with me.”

“Shiro, I want to, but I can’t--”

“Lance, you have to. Blue shut down again--she won't let anyone go in her--she won’t even respond to us.” 

“Oh, Blue.” Lance’s voice was a whisper. 

“Thace and Kolivan can yell at me later, but I can’t--” Shiro’s voice cracked. “I can’t leave you here. Not again.” 

Lance looked back to Shiro. Their eyes met, and Lance stared until they heard more yells and shouts in the corridor. 

“ _They’re with the Red Lion_!”

“ _Shit_ \--Shiro, we have to go!”

Shiro didn’t look away from Lance. He held him tight, and as the commotion grew louder, and Lotor’s voice floated over the rest Lance felt something in him snap.

“Okay.” 

Shiro took his hand just as Lotor came in.

“Lance!”

Lance didn’t dare look back. He held Shiro’s hand and ran behind him, falling into the Red Lion’s cockpit as the first blaster fired. Red roared, and the boy spun her around to fire a shot off at the Galra soldiers.

“Jesus, Keith--be careful!” 

Keith. Shiro’s brother. 

“I don’t really have time to be careful--” There was a crash, and as Lance glanced out the view screen he saw the Yellow Lion’s head. “--Hunk!” 

There was a beat of silence.

“Yeah, Shiro’s with me.” Keith glanced back. “And--someone else.” 

Keith stared at Lance before turning back to the view screen. “I don’t know, but Shiro’s got a lot of explaining to do when we get back to the castle.” 

Lance tuned the rest of the conversation out. 

“I’m sorry for not coming sooner.” Shiro spoke softly. He had taken his helmet off, and Lance lifted his hands to card threw Shiro’s hair. 

“No, don’t, I’m just glad you came back.” Lance let his hands wander back to Shiro’s cheeks. He was warm like he had always been--a strange feeling after so long without touching anything but cold skin. 

“Even though you told me not to?” Shiro asked it with a smile.

Lance couldn’t help but return it. “Even though I told you not to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rise from the dead to bring you the long awaited reunion that I didn't even get beta read because I was too excited to post it
> 
> in all seriousness tho, I am incredibly sorry for making you guy's wait this long to get this. I got really busy over the summer, and I only now just found time and motivation to pick this up again. This chapter was ridiculously hard for me to write and I can't even tell you why it was, but now that I have this out of the way I should be back to semi-regular updates. If im not, please come yell at me
> 
> ((if you wanna be kinda sad while reading this, go listen to Peter Hollens' cover of Loch Lomond))

**Author's Note:**

> I probably have Lotor's character all wrong, but we won't ever know until August 4th 
> 
> I needed an excuse for Lance and Shiro being able to understand each other, so Altean is very similar to English and you can fight me
> 
> ((I don't have a beta reader, so any and all mistakes are mine)) ((if anyone would like to beta read, hit me up))


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